II einhyatt II

2010-12-12T15:22:00.000+11:00

Third trimester, and the nausea, lethargy and extreme downfall of appetite returns !! Dislike.

2010-12-09T01:49:00.002+11:00

Scribble kejap while waiting for 2gelas susu to settle a bit. Kalau tidak dah already in bed ni. Esok nak kerja buat apa nak tidur lewat-lewat.

Arghhhhh so much to rant about. My work of 3 months. My experience observing the workplace environment and politics in Malaysia. How very lucky am I to have friends who understand islam !! Otherwise nothing could keep me sane. My experience working with the specialists. Proud to say Malaysia has excellent dentists and dental specialists. I have so much to learn from them and they are great teachers as well ! It reduces me to nothingness when I realized an overseas graduate like me know not how to do work. Plerghhhhhhhh. Here they are forced into doing minimal oral surgery (MOS), F/F day in day out, and general officer can do orthodontic treatment competently. Melb grads? Dont think we will go anywhere near Ortho as the trend there is to refer and refer and refer and refer.

Oh and oh yesss *melts* my baby ******. Yes we have a name ready for him already. Mummy feels so bad for not keeping a pregnancy diary for you ******. Mummy always have something to say to you, what we encounter today, what you have done to mummy, but at the end of the day time is the factor.

Like for example today you made slow-mo somersaults throughout the day giving me such funny feeling and we caught up with the 10kicks/day count over just 2hours! Talking about working hard eyh? In the afternoon though, in the car back from work you just decided to be extra cheeky and jumped up and down trampoline-ing on my bladder when it was full to the brim. You wait till mummy cubit you.

About 3months to go. Mummy still is worried about bringing you up. Have I missed the important part of your development that it will affect who you will be in the future? Have I done anything wrong that it will affect you akhlak? Have I made enough amal so you will become a man, a rijal, a mujahid of this ummah?

Mummy is sleepy...See what I mean...Later we continue oh-kay baby ******

2010-10-29T01:54:00.000+11:00

JOM JIRIM!!

2010-09-20T11:26:00.002+10:00

SIRAH MUZIKAL (SIRAM) 2010. YANG PERTAMA SEUMPAMANYA !! SiRAH MUZIKAL 2010
Merentas Kegemilangan Ummah

Tarikh : Sabtu, 9 Oktober 2010
Masa : 800 - 1100 malam
Tempat : Dewan Auditorium D8, Putrajaya

Semua maklumat dan tempahan tiket sila dapatkan di www.sirahmuzikal.com. Mesti pergi!!

2010-07-01T16:31:00.002+10:00

After so many months of abandoning this place and not writing , I think it is safe to write again that no one would come and peek hehe. *tengok kiri kanan dengan muka saspen*. Lemme see, the last thing I posted was the invite to my nikah, which was done ermm 4 months ago. That was when I was in Melbourne and aww masih belum bertukar status. Now Melbourne seems so far away. I must have lost my touch to writing, being unemployed stay at home housewife, I do nothing much that could help the reciprocation of the brain cells.

Latest update to life is of course our recent finding of the presence of the third person in our life. Alhamdulillah, we can't be happier or more excited. Allah, where do I start..?

OK, I had the instinct since the very first week. I just knew it, don't know why. Baby is now in her 4th1/2 week (most probably 2nd week of conception, JUST implanted), and we found out just a few days ago. Many had happened in between, I had a fall in Alor Setar, almost had an x-ray but didnt go for it, took some medications, took multivits with excessive content of Vit A that could harm a developing fetus but stopped because 'I had an instict'. Pheww, I hope Allah pelihara this little baby of mine.

I sure had mild symptoms of fatigue and random craving of food, but that was it. When I missed the red light for JUST a few days, couldn't help but UPT straight away. =p. Terbeliak mata when it came out +ve. Went to the doctor in the evening and explained to her, she was like "tapi baru miss beberapa hari lah. cemana awak boleh buat test dah? saya tak yakin. kita boleh scan tapi selalunya tak nampak apa2". I didn't tell her I just 'had an instinct'. I was emotion-less when u/sound revealed the pregnancy sac. OK maybe more like speechless. Doktor tetibe pulak jadi bersemangat and excitedly said "haa tu tu 'kantung kehamilan' (lawok la term ni, 1st time dengar)". She measured it,which revealed the size of a 5weeks sac! Teruja muka husband I tengok u/s tu hehehehe lawok juge. I resisted the temptation to say "told u I had an instinct" because I didnt tell the doc anything =p.

Alhamdulillah, although we didn't plan to have a baby this soon, Allah surely has another plan. He thinks that we are both now ready to carry the responsibility to raise a child although I highly doubt myself "cane ni U, I manja dengan mak pun tak habis lagi" kate cik puan kepada suaminya. It's true that self-building process should happen all the time, and there is never a graduation. If you were to wait until you are ready to get married, or claim yourself ready for a child, I dont think the day will ever come. Berani nak kata dah ready; mesti ada je benda tak cukup I tell you. Konon kata dah ready skali didik anak tak jadi, haa aiyo tatayo. Tak ade pun orang yang boleh buat sesuatu perkara di dunia ni dengan perfect and zero defect walau seready mana dia sekalipun. Jadi, silakan untuk terus belajar. I dont think I was ready to be a wife when suddenly we decided to held the nikah. Until now, there are so many do's and don'ts yang I dah langgar seolah-olah tak pernah baca buku and attend kursus perkahwinan, hence the note to self to re-read this books again. That's why a process is called a process I guess.

Alamak, so there goes the reminder for me to start reading Tarbiyatul Awlad again and find some pregnancy books for reading. Tak jadi la buku tu nak letak atas hantaran kwang2. As far as pregnancy symptoms is concern, I think I have mild ones. Tapi tu pun rasa tak tertanggung dah. Just nausea, have not thrown up thus far, mild cravings I wont call mengidam, cuma susah nak sesuaikan makanan dengan tekak. So far I have requested different food every night. Kuey teow sup masam, mi kari, soto, megi asam laksa (huhu), all for dinner. Alhamdulillah lunch boleh paksa makan nasi lagi. Cuma kena buat mind-war sikit "i can eat this, and this is yummy" chant.

I have to mention, kesian jugak dengan the husband yang jugak kena pregnancy symptoms, sampai MC 2 hari minggu lepas, yet this week kena gi kerja, yet balik malam-malam kena tolong basuh baju dsb dan beli makanan craved by the mummy. Huhu. Sebolehnya tanak susahkan dia, tapi alhamdulillah Allah gave me a greatly understanding husband yang greatly ringan tangan menolong. Kesian pencinta kambing yang tengok saja sekor kambing depan mata tanpa perasaan dan nafsu untuk makan hehe. Jazakallah khayr, besar pahala you encik ebi (nickname for abi kpd baby =p).

And I dah agak dah, mesti dapat arahan balik kampung from the mummy punye...adoi la

2010-02-26T08:23:00.001+11:00

Saya bakal bernikah inshallah

2010-01-27T18:26:00.002+11:00

2 inspiring points from today :
1) orang yang tidak mahu berubah takkan mampu mengubah persekitarannya. Inspirasi Mus'ab b Umayr
2) jangan jadi orang yang tidak memberi apa-apa nilai kepada dawah yang telah mentarbiyah dirimu dengan melakukan perkara-perkara yang tidak selari dengan tarbiyyah mu [teringat sembang dengan Nuha "nuha, acik dentist, ummi ape?" "ummi tarbiyyah!"] oh well ^_^

2010-01-27T10:49:00.004+11:00

Mencari titik kelembutan hati, yang tersentuh dengan ayat-ayat Nya. Mengimbau perasaan itu yang dekat hanya padaNya. Mengintai suatu keikhlasan yang terzahir dalam tiap langkah dan kata. Maafkan aku yang seringkali rapuh dalam mencinta.

2010-01-23T16:47:00.000+11:00

Ku mengintai ketenangan di antara kekalutan
Kerana keinginan tidak pernah kesampaian
Ku kutip sisa-sisa dari segala keruntuhan
Bangkit semula meneruskan baki perjalanan

=)

2010-01-13T14:17:00.008+11:00

I realised Ive abandoned this space for so long =D.

Ive been well. Massive sets of events have happened since not that many weeks ago. The most important 2 weeks in 2009 happened during my Xmas break which was filled with joyous moments and bounty of love =). As a friend said in her birthday wish to me; Although this year has started with challenges, your future is set to be bright and beautiful". I agree, I can't wait to live 2010 though that means i'm gona turn 27 when comes the end of year eerkk.

So, this has happened;

Lol, it wasnt me. It was my sis

She was this happy

Yeah i know, i know, another ring on your finger. Grrr!!

Family got together;

Dua orang kat tepi tu teringin cincin jugak oops

br>

On another note; as i was reciting my ayats of the day I realized that no matter how bad my day went, no matter how many people looked down on me or told me off, at the end of the day when there's only me and the Quran in my hand, i can be rest assured that He is always on my side. Bonus point that He is the Lord of this world and them all which means His approval is all that i need to roam around on this land of His =)

2009-12-02T19:03:00.000+11:00

Clearance Sale and Free Stuff everyone!!!

2009-12-01T22:52:00.002+11:00

Mashallah. Kisah yang merentap hati sanubari. Silakan menikmati. From Ustaz Fauzi's

Seorang rakan dari seberang laut mengirimkan email kepada saya beberapa hari lepas. Sebelum ini memang kami selalu berutus-utus email. Emailnya kali ini berkenaan kisah seekor kuda tua yang terjatuh ke dalam sebuah perigi buta. Tuan kuda tersebut adalah seorang peladang. Kuda tersebut sudah tidak diperlukan lagi oleh tuannya kerana ketuaannya (tidak pasti betul atau tidak istilah ini) merupakan beban kepada tuannya. Setelah menyedari kuda tersebut terjatuh ke dalam perigi buta tersebut, peladang tersebut mula berfikir macam-macam. Adakah dia perlu menyelamatkan kuda tersebut atau membiarkannya sahaja?

Setelah berfikir panjang, dia membuat satu keputusan yang amat dahsyat … di luar dari batas peri kemanusiaan walau pun dia sebenarnya seorang manusia.

Dia terfikir untuk membiarkan kuda tersebut mati di dalam perigi tersebut kerana untuk menyelamatkan kuda tersebut, kosnya tidaklah murah. Kuda tersebut pula sudah tua. Apa yang boleh dia buat dengan kuda tua? Ditambah dengan niatnya sebelum ini untuk mengambus perigi buat tersebut kerana perigi itu sudah tidak berguna lagi.

Dua makhluk yang tidak berguna ini akan dimusnahkan; kuda tua dan perigi buta …..

Mungkin untuk mengambil berkat amal jamaie, dia memanggil rakan-rakannya yang lain untuk membantunya mengambus perigi tersebut lalu menguburkan kuda tersebut di dalamnya. Mereka berkumpul dan memulakan kerja.

Seorang demi seorang mula menyodok tanah dan mencampakkannya ke dalam perigi. Tidak cukup dengan tanah, mereka juga mula membaling kayu-kayu dan sampah sarap di sekeliling perigi tersebut ke dalamnya.

Kuda tua mula menyedari apa yang berlaku. Ingatkan mereka akan mengeluarkannya dari perigi. Lain diharap lain yang berlaku. Kuda tua itu pun mula menjerit-jerit. Apa yang disebutnya saya tidak tahu. Minta tolonglah kot. Tidak lama selepas itu, peladang dan rakan-rakannya tiba-tiba terhenti dari menyodok dan mengambus. Suasana suspen seketika kerana kuda tersebut tidak lagi menjerit-jerit. Kemudian mereka menyambung kembali kerja mereka untuk menyelesaikan apa yang dirancang; menguburkan kuda tua di dalam perigi buta yang dikambus dengan tanah.

Setelah beberapa ketika, peladang menjenguk ke dalam perigi untuk melihat sedalam manakah telah mereka berjaya kambus dan berapa banyak lagi baki kerja mereka.

Terkejut …… Apa yang dilihat oleh peladang di dalam perigi buta tersebut? Sesuatu di luar jangkaannya telah berlaku.

Kuda tersebut masih hidup dan sedang berada hampir dengan mulut perigi. Tanah-tanah yang mereka campakkan ke dalam perigi semuanya berada di bawah tapak kakinya. Rupanya setiap kali tanah dicampakkan ke atas badannya, kuda tua tersebut secara diam-diam menggoyangkan badannya menjatuhkan tanah ke bawah tapak kakinya. Kemudian dia naik memijak tanah tersebut. Begitulah seterusnya; setiap kali dicampakkan tanah, setiap kali itu jugalah dia makin tinggi menghampiri mulut perigi.

Ketika semua sedang kebingungan melihat apa yang berlaku, kuda tua tersebut melompat keluar dari perigi dan berlari menjauhkan diri dari peladang dan rakan-rakannya.

Itulah hakikat kehidupan. Setiap masalah yang berlaku adalah tanah dan beban yang dicampakkan ke atas kita. Jika kita bijak, semua bebanan itu akan kita pijak untuk meningkatkan maqam dan kedudukan kita di sisi Allah.

Di akhir emailnya, rakan saya menulis:

لا تتوقف ولا تستسلم أبدا مهما شعرت أن الآخرين يريدون دفنك حيا

Jangan berhenti dan jangan menyerah sama sekali, walau pun kamu merasa bahawa orang lain sedang berusaha menguburkan kamu hidup-hidup. Wallahu a’lam

2009-11-24T11:53:00.003+11:00

Latest Great News - Dental School still wants me to bear nil responsibility when treating patients and put them all on demonstrator's hands, and still getting free full coaching from anyone you want in the whole building; be it postgrads, fully qualified specialists, and any professors. How does that sound? (toothy grin)

The only downside for that is that I still wont be paid for all hardwork and be treated like a useless scumbag by the nurses. Oh well

2009-11-12T10:23:00.003+11:00

Snippets a-la Che Det. Random thoughts.

I suddenly miss the warm feeling of being at home and suddenly ayah turns up with gazillions of catches from the market, more than what we are able to finish. "catch of the day" i would say in my head; this would mean big hearty happy family lunch!

I am missing Dental School already ^_^ oh. Dont think it would be easy to just leave when it has became the place you totally devote your emotion, frustrations, ups, downs, excitement, new discoveries, new knowledge acquired, place that have moulded me into a different person in a time frame of 5years.

When it felt like I never again would put myself through this hell of constant pressure of 5years, I'm now contemplating the option of doing Post-Grad studies. Geek.

Etched in my head, and now it's a laughing matter, the way I stormed into Greg's office and regurgitated my euphoria of having it done and over with (well, FOR NOW)with the biggest ugliest grin on my face before asking him whether he can help me with my patient's splint. He did everything for me and I didnt even have to smooth the edges coz according to him, it's not our job now! I was speechless.

I still have disturbed sleep and keep thinking through what i have said in my exams and how I could have said it better. Really regretted saying the cemento-osseous dysplasia though, eventhough it sounded smart and cool, it was highly unlikely because it looked benign, what with the corticated bone formed nicely around it. argggh

I'm still going to clinic to finish up my endo guy who turned up late during my exam when I reminded him to 'be here at least 10 to' just the day before. Memang nak kena. Arggh and cant forget his dumbfounded face when I started babbling about Ibuprofen and Paracetamol when never before in my life those words were used to a patient. What do you expect when an examiner, arms crossed over chest staring straight at you waiting to see what are you going to say to a patient having symptoms after an endo.

I think it's the biggest nikmat Allah had ever granted me, this what i feel after having 'it' concluded. Indeed, with difficulty there's a relief. Believed the words when it was hard, believing it more when it's happening now. Can't put it in words how I feel His love now. Cant thank Him sufficiently enough. It would NEVER EVER (nevah evah hehe) be enough!!

2009-11-01T10:09:00.003+11:00

Cita-cita menggunung. Tapi bila realiti semakin dekat dan tanggungjawab nampak kian jelas mula la freak out dan rasa terlalu lemah.Mampukah. Inshallah kemampuan Allah yang bagi. Ikhlaskan hati. Ameen ameen ya Allah

Biasa la coretan-coretan hati time exam ni ye. Lagi seminggu. Tak tahu cemana lidah ni akan berfungsi ke tak nanti. Exam dah la semedang oral je. Doakan ye.

2009-07-24T19:54:00.001+10:00

I cannot NOT share this

2009-07-16T19:55:00.003+10:00

Mashallah winter semakin dan semakin indah!! Sampai kena tegur dengan akhawat sebab jalan sorang-sorang sambil tersengih. Sebenarnya akhawat tu ada unsur2 exeggerate juga =p.

SMM baru beberapa jam berakhir. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Sungguh banyak tak terkata nikmat berada dalam majlis tu, considering expectation yang tak sampai tahap itu. Yang utama, kehadiran akhawat Adel yang merecaj kenangan dan ukhuwah =). Terasa lama sangat tak jejak bumi Adel, yang datang 70% tak dikenali. Contact yang tak sampai 10minit kot bersama ukhti gigi seperjuangan =p. Alhamdulillah terasa sikit diri ni tak keseorangan lagi. Contact 10min juga bersama ustazah, tapi kesannya kepada hati; mashallah =).

Overall, majlis SMM sendiri, nampaknya sangat positif. Tahniah ISMA kerana berjaya membawa mesej yang terang dan jelas lagi relevan. Buat mahasiswa/i yang hidup hatinya, tinggi semangat dan daya juangnya, sedar peranan diri sebagai wadah arus perubahan, tiada sebab untuk tidak bersama-sama ISMA membawa kebaikan kepada masyarakat dan negara yang kita cintai. "bukan mengejar pangkat dan harta, bukan mencari wang dan kekayaan, berjuanglah berkorbanlah". Inshallah moga Allah redha.

Kesimpulannya, sapa saja2 tak pergi SMM memang rugi (dah la makan free). Jangan terlepas lagi program seterusnya Malam Bersamamu Palestin yang menampilkan tokoh Aman Palestin, Prof Madya Dr Zainur Rashid. Yang ni lagila rugi tak pergi; masuk aja dah free, ilmu dan perkongsian pengalaman lagi, peluang buat pahala aja terbentang luas; mari sumbang sebanyak-banyak dalam lelongan hasil karya kreatif, sumbangan akan disalurkan kepada rakyat Palestin. RSVP di sini!!!

2009-07-12T17:42:00.003+10:00

Seminar Mahasiswa Malaysia menjulang tema "Mahasiswa Arus Peneraju Aspirasi Negara" dibawakan kepada anda oleh Isma Australia. Jangan ketinggalan menghadiri majlis yang julung-julung kali diadakan demi memberi nilai tambah diri anda; mahasiswa yang akan pulang sebagai graduan harapan negara.
RSVP di sini. Jangan terlambat kerana tempat duduk terhad!

2009-07-11T19:11:00.003+10:00

Nak curah hati saje =)

Sunguh indah. Winter penulis kali ini hanya dikonklusikan dalam 1 minggu sahaja. Tapi ia 1 minggu terindah. Umpamanya tidak ada beza dengan winter 3 bulan yang pernah dinikmati tahun-tahun sebelumnya. Benarlah, masa itu makhluk Allah. Panjang pendeknya sangat relatif.

Bermula dengan JMD, kami kembali menggegarkan Portsea Camp. Kalaulah peserta dapat nampak kekalutan di belakang tabir, debaran di hati ini kerna ketidaksediaan lantaran kesibukan hospital menghimpit sehingga sehari sebelum program bermula, dan kekalutan itu yang menggegar jantung yang kami tanggung bersama kurang sejam sebelum pengisian bermula =), tidur yang terkorban serta entah berapa banyak lagi yang tak perlu disenarai di sini.... Alhamdulillah, pengakhirannya sungguh manis. Malah sepanjangnya juga penuh kemanisan. Birunya luar biasa =) Tak dapat diungkap penghargaan, kasih dan sayang terhadap mereka yang sentiasa menggenggam erat tangan ini =). Kata-kata seorang ukhti fillah yang diceritakan oleh seorang yang lain; "mungkin ikhlas kita telah bertambah". Mungkin; alhamdulillah.

Tika ini mujahidah-mujahidah itu sedang bertarung di medan 5 hari dan hati ini sedang merindui. Semoga Allah mudahkan urusan. Manis. Kemanisan berkasih dan sayang, merindui, saling bahu membahu, mendoakan sedang dia tidak mengetahui. Kita mungkin tertanya-tanya inikah dia ukhuwah. Inikah dia kemanisan bersahabat di jalan Allah yang mereka gembar-gemburkan. Jangan lupa indahnya bukan terbatas pada materi keseronokan-keseronokan dunia. Malah dalam lagi makna keindahan itu apabila kita mampu berlapang dada dengan apa sahaja keadaan kondisinya sahabat fillah. Bahkan itu minima kelayakan untuk dipanggil ukhuwah. Semoga Allah terus sudi membajai mutiara ini dalam hati-hati kami yang bertaut kerana mencari redhaNya.

Hadiah lebih berharga; satu lagi hijab yang Dia buka, membawa kepada kecintaan yang makin membuak juga keyakinan yang kian meneguh atas jalanNya. Jua menjadi saksi potensi-potensi yang hanya menunggu masa untuk meledak. Terima kasih Allah kerana meletakkan diri antara sebahagian sejarah yang sedang ditulis ini. Apa akan jadi dengan Melbourne ke hadapan? Inshallah, inshallah makin teguh =). Yakin itu. Meminjam kata-kata Abdul Mutalib tatkala berhadapan Abrahah; sungguh agama ini ada Tuhan yang memeliharanya.

Terima kasih Allah atas hadiah paling manis untuk winter terakhir di bumi kangaroo =). Pasti akan rindu.

2009-06-08T13:40:00.002+10:00

Sometimes we think that being around non-muslim people will test our strength; akhlak-wise i'm talking about. The pressure to do the best, be as islamic as one could, not a backstabber and tarnish islam as an image just because of your misbehaviour. Some people find it difficult though i think it's a good thing if you have the awareness all the time.

But at times i think my non-muslim friends have become the means of Allah's reminder for me. One day we were running late for lunch and were packing the instruments after finishing with a patient. I had no intention whatsoever to clean up the bay cause it's always the DA's duty. Someone popped a question whether we wanted to wipe and re-bag the bay. I just wanted to head to lunch. My partner said "why not". The demo said "yeah it'll be a courtesy if you do". I think they were both right and very noble at heart. Of course, why not! I should've been the one who had the holy intention to do the right thing in the first place for the mere reason that i'm a muslim. So much of my reputation of being the 'religious one'.

Another time was when we were at a community clinic and we did not have patient. The other pair next door were treating one, and he speaks nil english. The demo was having a look and had to yell 'close your mouth' more than 4times because he could not understand and kept his mouth stiffly wide open. We were observing from our bay. I thought that was very difficult for the demo and tergelak sikit. My partner dengan selamba said "shouldn't have laughed Aini. It's not funny. You're so mean". I thought she was right through and through. Why did i laugh? Of course i did not think it was funny that he couldnt understand english, i laughed for other reason. But then, for whatever reason, it was NOT a correct thing to laugh. I was taken aback and could not stop thinking till bedtime that night. I spoke to my partner the next morning and she said that she was joking and i shouldnt be taking that so seriously. Maybe she did not mean it. But that was a reminder from Allah. So much of me being the 'religious one'.

2009-06-06T07:12:00.002+10:00

Apparently kids love stickers like there's no tomorrow! We just started our paedodontics rotation. Last week was the first. I've been seeing kids already, especially in Shepp and Rumba, and theyre heaps of fun provided you get nice kids who don't start to play up when you're only popping mouth mirror into their mouths.

The cute tiny little white pearls, such tiny mouth, the honest comments, the trust they can give you when they start to trust you, some you can do anything; clamps, matrix band and they dont even flinch, and those pure sinless faces. Such sweethearts. Oh well, i havent came across difficult kids and got my nerves tested yet.

Anyways, is it a normal kid thing to like stickers? I never liked stickers even as a kid, and when i learnt we give out stickers after seeing one, i was like "how can that be a reward?". Apparently i'm the odd one. Ah well i never even liked cartoons and used to bore to death when my brother and sister always had the Looney Tunes and Tasmanian Devil and Bugs Bunny whatsoeva on the TV every Sunday when i was in primary. How diverse can your kids be, right

2009-05-24T09:08:00.005+10:00

I was watching this: and could not help but loudly chuckle at the penguins' attempts to climb the iceberg. Not paticularly a penguin fan myself, but those acts are surely cute! And check out the way they glide through the sea, up and down, careless and free! Makes me wana become a penguin (dolphin lagi bagus sbb comel dan bijak) so I can worry about nothing but enjoying the vast sea day in day out (thinking about the freezing water however makes me have a second thought).

This is one reason why Allah wants us to observe and ponder on His creations. It brings sakeenah to mind and heart. It brings us to think of Him and how Great He is! (why does He have to create walrus, and seal, similar creatures but not the same? How come the largest mammal only feed on crustaceans and plankton and be the least harmful creature in the sea? Why does He create them such that they are water-creatures but need to resurface to breathe every now and then and get attacked but the oh-so-cute polar bears and makes me confuse whether to pity the victim or memberi sokongan moral to the predator with a starving fluffy, innocent-eyed cub?) Sudah. Jiwa kacau.

2009-05-20T00:23:00.003+10:00

2009-05-20T00:20:00.001+10:00

I find it very hard lately to speak. Weird hey? I think so. It is very disappointing when this cranial cavity of mine is largely a cavity instead of housing a brain. Even worse when I'm in the clinic. My ability to explain stuff to patients now reduced to 2% people! I can't speak. I'm a no brainer. My thoughts aren't organized at all. Actually I dont think I have any thoughts at all. What's going on? I dont have any interest about anything in life, not even the interest to have own thought and voicing it out. Is this some sort of neuro-degradation pathology? Look how my sentences are retarded. See what i mean?

Anyways. My point is, I have a story. Because i cannot think, anyone is welcome to come up with pengajaran from the story ok? (it's a deal). I had to change my partner for 3 weeks for hospital rotation some few weeks ago. I normally pair up with Ms MC, but she had to swap with Mr IK for some reason. So I had to pair up with a guy partner which i'm not used to. Boy, God knows what a mental torture it was for me. Coz it was a guy, I could not be the usual cheerful (as if) self, and chirpy as how i normally am with girlfriends. So that's my definition of a mental torture. IK being IK, i was at my wit's end and could only bersabar when we seemed to contradict all the time, and him being a true Martian and me being a true Venusian we snapped at each other whenever opportunities arised especially at the end of those long days when we had to stay for on-call till 930 at night. I came home feeling drained and horrible and stressed and dreading the next day when I would have to face him again. I longed for my usual partner.

Then there was this one day. We had to travel to Footscray for a clinic session. We finished at about 430-445 and i still hadnt made Asr. I was hoping that we could catch the bus on time and I can pray at home. Long story cut short; we could not find the bus stop heading to the city and spent 15mins walking around in frenzy looking for the bus stop. When we finally found it, there was about 15-20mins left before Asr finishes. I know I wouldnt be able to make it. So I told him:

Me : I have to pray now or else I wont be able to make it on time. I'll just go to that corner over there (looked over to the dodgy looking car park with lotsa curries roaming around.was feeling a bit insecured) and pray. If the bus comes, you can go.

IK : No. I'll watch over you and your bag.

Me : Thanks.

So he stayed near me when I spread my Melbourne uni jacket on the ground and made Asr in between cars. (huish alhamdulillah ade wudhu lagi). So there he stood looking to the left and right every now and then (like a bodyguard) for the owners of the car that might return when i was praying.

Me : Thanks. U'll get your share.

IK : (looking totally opposite to his confident i-am-the-person-in-charge look) Share? Dont even have much of an investment to begin with.

Yes. He's a muslim. Though he calls himself a muslim by name, he still calls himself a muslim though. For some reason I was thankful that the person i paired up with that day was a muslim. He understood how important praying is for me, and what it means to not to miss it and to have to do it even if it means to do it in between cars at a smelly car park with the fear of being ran over at anytime (exeggerated). I found this thankful feeling deep in my spleen that have never had with my non-muslim girl partner eventhough she never snapped at me and is nice and sweet all the time. Thank you Allah for still making me appreciate my sis/bro in islam more than the others.

2009-05-11T21:31:00.003+10:00

If i were to vent everything out through this space, i wouldn't even know where to start. If it doesnt go out the lips, nor the eyes, nor the fingers where could it possibly end up? In endodontics there's a condition we call internal root resorption. The cause? Inflammation.

All in all, He knows everything. Only this ayah I could think of and it's sufficient - iyya kana'budu wa iyya kanasta'in. Shouldnt be writing that in abc i know; verily You alone we worship, and from You alone we ask for help. Hidup jika mengharap manusia, pasti kecewa.

If things dont go out, it goes in. Ive seen these happened in front of my eyes. Him, from one confident full of energy man ready to take on the world, to being a chicken in the corner, with inexistent confidence.

Sometimes you think it's one of those days, but one of those days have become part of everyday? Sometimes you think what is wrong with myself and what's going on in my life? Iyya kana' budu wa iyya kanasta'in.

Sometimes you talk to people, but these people just want to know how many teeth have you treated today, and some other just want to know whether you have had your lunch, and some other just interested in how much dawah you have done, and some other just want to know if you're going to be back on time to cook dinner. In the end, who wants to know about you? Iyya kana' budu wa iyya kanasta'in. I really should be writing up Kakak R

2009-04-23T15:02:00.005+10:00

Hidup ini pelik.

(even the sight of a baby makes my heart leap nowadays) --no relation to post

2009-03-14T11:06:00.004+11:00

Sebuah jalan yang indah dan luas pasti menggoda anda untuk menempuhnya, namun jalan itu juga mempunyai beberapa bagian jalan kecil yang sempit dan tikungan-tikungan tajam. Tentu saja polisi lalu lintas tidak akan membiarkan anda melalui jalan seperti ini tanpa memasang rambu-rambu peringatan berwarna merah atau isyarat-isyarat tanda bahaya.

.....

Siapapun penempuh jalan yang mematuhi rambu-rambu jalan ini , pasti akan sampai ke tujuan dengan aman, tenang dan menyenangkan.

.....

Aku tidak mampu menyembunyikan rintihanku sehingga bahasaku yang lembut terpengaruhi oleh bahasa kekecewaan, penyesalan dan celaan yang sangat dalam.

AWAIQ

.....

Sabar, sabar sabar! Satu untuk penulis, tiga untuk mereka. SABAR. Apa kesudahannya amal tanpa kefahaman? Jelaskah padamu apa yang hendak dicapai? Antara menyegerakan dan tergesa-gesa, apa rasanya mempelam muda yang dipetik sebelum tiba masanya? Seorang bayi tidak perlu tahu apa kandungan susu yang menjadi makanannya, di mana nak membelinya, berapa harganya, tapi susu itu keperluannya. Membesarlah dengan segala nikmat dan anugerah susu itu sampai ketikanya kau perlu memberi susu pula, saat itu wajib bagimu mendapatkan dan memberi pula.
SABAR. Satu untuk penulis, tiga untuk mereka.

2009-02-27T21:35:00.002+11:00

Ive been waiting in anticipation for an email from the Dental School after sending out my request for a typed-up letter for my sponsor in uni letterhead. I admit, i sent them to (random) selected people. Gimme a break, I didnt know exactly who should be in charge, but all the admin people in charge of Dental School undergrads have received my mail. The result? At least one person replied to direct me to the 'correct person'. I'm still patiently waiting. Ah well, I'm used to being ignored and being the 'thing' at the corner too plain and unsignificant to be paid attention to. Patiently waiting I still am.

Until 15mins ago when I opened my uni mail and the content shocked me I almost got my second dental-related heart attack (first one was when I was in Shepp and a demonstrator appeared in front of my bedroom door at 5 in the morning when I woke up to do my fajr prayer. I highly suspected that he was drunk. I was in my PJ. Had my tudung on,mind you if you're starting to suu dzhon, lengkap menutup aurat. Sounds scary, i know. Oh well I havent had a chance to share with you the whole lot of what happened in Shepp). The email wrote "as a result of decisions made by the Melbourne Dental School progress committee which met on the afternoon of 25th Feb, there will be 2 less students in 5th in 2009 than there was at the commencement of the year". As simple as that???

It gave me a muscular anaesthetic. It numbed me and I couldnt twitch a muscle. The first thing that hit me was how would the affected people take it? How would it feel to them. This happens after 2 months of us being in the 5th year! After two months of parroting "Hi, I'm [insert name] a 5th year Dental student, and i'm gonna take care of you today" everyday, 2-7 patients a day. And majority of the patient would ask if you're in the final year and congratulate you for having made it so far. I did not even know who were they, the 2 people, but i surely felt for them. And I'm sure I dont even feel 1% of what they might be feeling. God does have a plan for them, and every plan should make them (us) draw closer to him if they (us) want to see it.

Thus I decided not to have my mind on the coming graduation too much lest I will be rendered heartbroken. The Dental School does have a reputation for doing this to students, that's my guarantee. Mak, dont worry, at least dapat jalan-jalan kat sini huhuhu

I conclude that Melbourne Dental School is in a mess. That will hold true until they reply my email, thank you.

I'm smelling of kebab which I had for dinner. This feast of food at Arden St should really cease or I, as the girl with metabolism the speed of a snail will definitely turn into an inflated balloon very soon.

2009-02-11T22:56:00.003+11:00

Tekanan terbaru adalah apabila kita sentiasa berada di klinik 9-5 setiap hari, dan nampaknya orang-orang di klinik tak boleh mengelak dari membuka radio. Tak kira klinik manapun dalam dunia Victoria, Australia ini. Dan walaupun kita sub-consciously mendengar lagu-lagu lagha yang berkumandang, tiba-tiba balik rumah lagu itu masih berkumandang dalam kepala!! Padahal bukan dengan sengaja mendengar dan meneliti lagu tu pun. Pelik kan bagaimana otak kita berfungsi.
Saya telah mencuba taktik 'saya nak pelankan suara tapi tak sengaja tertutup radio' tapi nampaknya hanya berjaya sekerat jalan. Kalau sapa-sapa ada idea tolong suarakan. Kan bagus kalau pasang ayat Quran aje dan terus terhafal gitu... Nampaknya Allah nak kita berusaha lebih kalau nak hafal ayat2 Dia..

Cerita sedih lagi adalah kawasan yang terlibat dengan bushfire di Victoria nampaknya adalah kawasan di mana kami pergi bekerja December haritu. Terkejut. Marysville, Healsville, Yarck, Alex, Taggerty. Semua tempat familiar, dan sangat sangat sangat cantik terutama Marysville yang seolah-olah pekan kecil Inggeris dalam kisah dongeng.
Terkejut bagaimana dekatnya sebenarnya bala Allah tu dengan kita. Silap silap, mungkin boleh aje bushfire tu terjadi masa kami di sana... Takdirnya masa kami bekerja tak panas sangat walaupun tengah-tengah musim panas.
Terkejut bagaimana mangsa-mangsa yang terlibat mungkin orang yang kami kenal. Sapa tahu kan. Oh Girlie..adakah anda selamat?
Kan...kat mana-mana aje Allah boleh turunkan sesuatu kalau Dia nak. Kalau tak dapat tsunami, dapat api. Jangan terkejut kalau tengah-tengah inland boleh dapat bah besar macam kisah Nabi Nuh. Sape kate tak possible.

2009-02-08T21:53:00.003+11:00

Today i write about longing. To a place I call home.

For those times of outings, when mother wrapped her arms protectively at my elbow. As if I was her 3- year old child about to be snatched by thieves sneaking somewhere amongst the crowd. In her eyes i never ceased to be the baby. If only she knew what treasure i find in being that baby.

For the proud smile of mother whenever us the children are walking along her side. And the twinkling in her eyes when she describes us for the customary questions from orang-orang kampung. Oblivious to her that we are nothing special in this world. Our faces, no one would be smitten by.

For the familiarity of faces and warm comfort i find in them. No money can buy this pleasure. No money could make up this bliss either and it never did. For our lives are nothing short of simplicity. Straight forward and honest. These years, when life starts to build its complexity i search for the unpretentious cocoon; through the secret underground tunnel leading to the way out.

For the tenderness of squid in my mouth, juicy and fragrant fresh from the BBQ skewers. There's a hint of belacan too adding to the aroma. Sea breeze kisses my cheeks, forehead, stinging my eyes, blowing my hijab to the side. With it brings thousands memories tender to the heart.

For the sight of beaches I fancy so much. Their beauty never failed me, never betrayed me. Not once have i found the like of them in this land down under.

For those long rides in the car, us having to stop by RnRs for prayers. Little words are exchanged. Yet serenity falls on me when the obligatories are offered. The short moment I indulge in to my heart's content until God takes it away again. There seems nothing more in this world i would ask for. (walasau fayardho)

It's always the serenity, the contentment of having them around. No matter who they are in the world's hypercritical eyes. They may have nothing much to offer to the world, but they mean the world to me.

2009-02-07T10:26:00.002+11:00

Salam

Dah dengar belum cerita-cerita magic pasal mujahidin dan syahid2 di Palestin? Subhanallah!! Sangat cool ok. Memang terbukti Allah mengurniakan mereka syahid. Memang sah perjuangan mereka adalah perjuangan paling suci, paling betul, paling mulia atas muka bumi. Dan sekarang syahid-syahid itu sedang menikmati rezeki dari Allah. Tak terbanding kalau nak compare rezeki yang kita rasa best kat atas dunia ni. Kita rasa makan kat hotel 5-star tu hebat? Kita rasa kalau kita ada kereta best Porsche Carrera (ni kereta idaman budak-budak dent yang nak jadi dentist satu hari nanti sebab nak memiliki Porsche) dan duduk rumah paling mewah kat kawasan paling mewah tu dah paling cool sampai boleh besar kepala dan rasa kita lah makhluk paling best kat dunia ni dan rasa macam kita boleh buat apa saja sebab dunia ini kita yang punya? Tak comparable langsung dengan syurga Allah. Tak comparable langsung dengan apa yag syahid-syahid ni tengah nikmati saat ini. Tidakkah kita jealous.

Anyways, i cant be bothered untuk cut and paste article tu sebab cut and paste blogger is a loser (maaf, gurau je). Apa kata pergi sendiri kat blog Ustaz Halim dan nikmatilah sendiri cerita magic tu. Sambil tu boleh la klik2 kat artikel-artikel lain kat blog ustaz. Allahualam.

Saya baru balik dari 4-weeks rural placement kat Shepparton. Banyak kisah menarik. Kalau rajin nanti saya kongsi inshallah. Sekarang kena buat gerak gempur Cade Square dulu.

2009-01-30T21:57:00.001+11:00

Feb 13 2005

If you can keep your head when all about you men are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowances for their doubting, too.

If you can wait but not be tired of waiting, or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, and yet don't look too good nor talk too wise,

If you can dream but not make dreams your master, If you can think and not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same,

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build them up with worn-out tools,

If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, a nd lose and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss,

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and to hold on when there is nothing in you b ut the will that says to them "hold on,"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, if all men count with you but none too much, I

f you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, and which is more, you'll be a man, my son.

2009-01-25T23:51:00.003+11:00

Kemenangan Kita di Gaza (copied from Ustaz Halim's www.inijalanku.wordpress.com)

Allahu Akbar !!! Walillahil Hamd !!! “Sungguh Aku akan memenangkan Aku dan rasul-rasulKu. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuat, Maha Perkasa” (Al-Quran). “Dan tidaklah kemenangan itu melainkan dari sisi Allah, Maha Perkasa, Maha Bijaksana” (Al-Quran). Setelah 23 hari berperang, Allah swt menghadiahkan kemenangan kepada umat Islam Palestin dalam bertarung dengan tentera Israel yang dilaknatNya melalui kata-kata Nabi Daud as dan Nabi Isa as. ribuan tahun dahulu. Mereka datang menyerang secara mengejut pada 27 Disember 2008 dan cabut kebelakang pada 19 Januari 2009, sehari sebelum Obama mengambil tampuk Presiden US dari Bush, Bapa Penjenayah Perang Abad 21. Seperti lagak pengecut semasa Perang Lubnan yang mereka lancarkan tahun 2 tahun lalu, kali ini mereka sekali lagi membunuh seramai mungkin orang-orang awam di dalam kediaman-kediaman mereka tanpa mengira kanak-kanak, wanita, orang tua dan awam, melalui tembakan bom dari udara, untuk menutup kekalahan yang bakal mereka hadapi nanti di medan tempur di darat.

“Mereka tidak akan dapat memudharatkan kamu melainkan aza (sedikit sebanyak kesakitan, pembunuhan dll). Sekiranya mereka memerangi kamu, nescaya mereka akan cabut lari ke belakang, kemudian mereka tidak akan dimenangkan” (Al-Quran).

Walau didokong oleh persenjataan, bilangan, politik, media dan geografi, namun Israel kalah juga akhirnya walau cuba ditutup oleh pihak media antarabangsa yang dikuasai mereka. Ini adalah kerana matlamat-matlamat mereka seperti berikut telah gagal dicapai :

Israel ingin menjajah Gaza seperti yang sedang berlaku di Tebing Barat, tetapi tidak berjaya.
Amerika ingin isu Gaza dihapuskan sebelum Bush menyerah kuasa kepada Obama pada 20 Januari 2009, namun ini juga tidak berjaya. Obama akan terus dihantui isu Gaza dizaman pemerintahannya. Katanya, Obama ingin memulihkan kembali imej Amerika, namun episod Gaza seterusnya akan mendedahkan sikap-sikap beliau sebenarnya terhadap umat Islam.
Jika Gaza dikalahkan, Gerakan FATAH telahpun menyediakan barisan Kabinetnya untuk mengambilalih kerajaan di Gaza dari HAMAS. Mahmud Abbas telah bersedia di Tebing Barat. Mohd Dahlan telah bersedia di Mesir, namun mereka hampa.
Serangan mengejut hari pertama dan serangan-serangan seterusnya disasarkan untuk membunuh seramai mungkin pimpinan HAMAS di rumah dan pejabat mereka. Ini tidak berjaya kecuali pembunuhan Nizar Rayyan bersama kesemua ahli keluarganya. HAMAS berjaya mengambil langkah-langkah keselamatan ketat sebelum hari serangan mengejut tersebut.
Serangan ini adalah untuk meningkatkan populariti Parti Kadima untuk Pilihanraya Umum Israel bulan Februari ini. Namun sebaliknya berlaku. Kekalahan Israel yang memalukan ini telah menconteng arang di muka pimpinan dan parti mereka.
Kesengsaraan yang dihadapi oleh umat Palestin diharap akan menyerikkan mereka dari memilih HAMAS dalam Pilihanraya Palestin akan datang, namun sebaliknya berlaku. Tempoh presiden Mahmud Abbas juga telah tamat pada 8/1/2009 lalu. Kemenangan mujahideen Palestin dibawah pimpinan Kataib (Batalion) Izzuddin Al-Qassam (HAMAS) menaikkan populariti HAMAS dari 63% dalam Pilihanraya Umum tahun 2006 lalu, kepada 90% ketika perang dan selepasnya, seperti yang didakwa HAMAS.

Perang Gaza 2008 ini juga telah memberi kejayaan kepada umat Palestin khususnya, dan umat Islam amnya kerana :

Perang ini telah menyedarkan ramai umat Islam yang sebelum ini lena kerana kesibukan dunia. Di Malaysia sendiri para artis turut menyumbang kepada Palestin.
Kemenangan Palestin ini telah mengembalikan keyakinan umat Islam akan kekuatan Islam sebenar yang boleh mengatasi kecanggihan tentera Israel yang sering mereka gembar-gemburkan. Generasi 2008 kini tahu dan menyaksikan bahawa Israel boleh dikalahkan walau oleh sebuah gerakan, belum lagi sebuah negara Islam, apatah lagi Khilafah Islam.
Perang Gaza 2008 ini telah menyatukan banyak kumpulan-kumpulan Islam dalam sesebuah negara.
Jihad Gaza kali ini banyak menonjolkan tokoh-tokoh belia seperti Khalid Masy’al, Ismail Haniyeh, isteri-isteri mereka dan ramai lagi, untuk diambil contoh oleh para pemuda dan pemudi Palestin khususnya. Ini akan melahirkan lebih ramai tokoh dan pelapis dari berbagai generasi harapan agama dan negara di masa akan datang.

Israel, Amerika, Eropah, Kuasa-kuasa Besar dan sebahagian pemimpin umat Islam merancang jahat terhadap Palestin, tetapi Allah swt juga merancang, dan Allah adalah sebaik-baik perancang.

Kita berdoa dan berusaha semoga Gaza yang telah musnah infrastrukturnya akan segera dipulihkan, kehidupan akan kembali ke tahap normalnya secepat yang mungkin, pintu lintas Rafah yang ditutup Mesir akan segera dibuka dan Israel akan dilenyapkan dari peta dunia. Moga Allah merahmati para syuhadak Gaza, menerima mereka di SyurgaNya yang tertinggi, mencukupkan kehidupan para janda dan anak-anak yatim yang kehilangan tempat pergantungan dan kasih sayang. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Berkuasa atas tiap sesuatu.

Ustaz Halim INIJALANKU www.inijalanku.wordpress.com

BIRO (PARLIMEN) JALINAN TURKI - ISRAEL “TUTUP KEDAI”

Sekretariat Am Parlimen Turki mengumumkan bahawa tidak ada di sana Biro Jalinan Turki – Israel setelah semua ahli Parlimen yang menganggotainya menarik keanggotaan mereka sebagai tindakbalas dari kekejaman yang berlaku di Gaza. Ketua Hal Elwal Luar Parlimen, Murad Merkan berkata, “Pencerobohan Zionis yang terkini ini telah menusuk perit yang mendalam ke dalam hati-hati kami. Apa yang boleh saya sumbangkan adalah terhad. Penarikan ini ialah apa yang termampu saya lakukan kerana marah ke atas apa yang berlaku. Biro ini dianggotai sebilangan ahli-ahli Parlimen dari kedua-dua negara. Ketua Parlimen Turki, Koksal Tubtan bertindak menderma darah untuk penduduk Gaza dan berkata bahawa negaranya akan menghantar bantuan perubatan ke Gaza.

Sumber : Ikhwan Online

Diterjemah oleh Ustaz Halim INIJALANKU

2009-01-21T20:00:00.002+11:00

"excellent management with the children. Going to make an excellent mother".
That's the only positive thing I got out of today. But it's like the best thing. Mintak-mintak laaa betul2 dapat jd a mother one day ameeeeen.
Other than that, it's a day worthy to cry over waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2009-01-18T14:46:00.003+11:00

Ive been in the rural (Shepparton) in the past week, and have been deprived of the cyber world ever since, simply because it's the start of the year and lotsa people are on holidays. Anyways, I'd rather not talk about myself and the nothingness of difficulty in Shepp.

I'm back in the city for the weekend, suprised to find that the war in Gaza is still ongoing. Nothing can express the loathe, disgust, anger, and helplesness waiting to explode in my chest. No swear words can I find to be used either, and they are no use whatsoever cause swear words solve nothing. Plus, I dont have enough vocab of swear words, and I don't know how to use them. Rose and I was like "beng**g Israel ni. Eiyyyyyy but beng**g is such an understatement!! I dont know what to say" Rose "me neither!!"

What adds up to the kegeraman - I opened the Malaysian newspaper and all they were talking about are Norman Hakim-Abby-Memey conflict, new porn gay films about to be released by Raja Azmi in the name of "daawah" FOR GOODNESS SAKE and thousand other trivialities!!!!!!!! And they continue to feed Malaysian with stuff like these so Malaysian know nothing but comfort in their own bubbles, and all they have to do as a respond to what happen in Gaza is just shouting and signing petition, and putting up status in Facebook or YM. And they think that's enough. I bet Gaza wave in Malaysia, or rather amongst Malaysian is just temporary. When the Israeli slows down, so will they, and Starbucks and McD and KFC will fill up with customers again.

I found this video where a reporter shut Israeli's spokesman up. Well done Mr Thomson. At least some people are not blind to the truth...

2009-01-10T23:34:00.002+11:00

It's my birthday, and i just want to cut and paste part of the birthday dedication my brother wrote in his blog... Reckon it's thoughtful of him and it's hilarious. Brings back the fuzzy memory of my long forgotten childhood

Dia laah yang bawak aku pegi beli nasik lemak kat tepi pagar belakang rumah (itupun kena redah semak samun dulu) kat Kluang dulu

Dia laah yang akan bawak balik karipap dari tadika dia.

Dia laah yang ajar bahasa isyarat sewel (pusing2 tangan kat kepala)

Dia laah yang cuci seluar aku masa aku ber*k dalam seluar masa darjah satu dulu

Dia laah yang layan lawak bodoh aku seperti "Putattannn" (sambil angkat perut), "Wahab Waccauu" & "amarannn" *kembang kempis hidung*

Dia laah yang tolong belikan aku fries masa hari kantin kat sekolah rendah aku dulu.

I thank God for the life He gave me. I thank God for letting me live to this age, and for letting me comprehend the true meaning of this life. It was just four years ago, when I blogged about my 21st birthday, whining about trivialities. I thank God I found the answers to the questions I asked precisely four years ago. I thank God I'm no longer the person I was not that long ago....

2009-01-09T19:42:00.001+11:00

Sakit hati. Sakit hati!! Masih tertutup lagikah mata kita? Masih selesakah dengan kehidupan sendiri yang penuh kesenangan dan riang ria!! Bahkan, kita akan disoal tentang nasib umat seaqidah kita di hadapan Allah kelak. Tunggu sajalah!!

2008-11-24T11:42:00.002+11:00

Nak dengar tak cerita meruntun hati dan jiwa?

Sheikh Yasin bin Yusuf Al Markisi menceritakan kepada kita tentang kisah Imam Nawawi Rahimahullah ketika kecilnya. " Aku melihat beliau ketika masih berumur 10 tahun di Nawa. Para anak kecil tidak mahu bermain dengannya lantas ia pun berlari dari mereka seraya menangis, kemudia ia MEMBACA AL QURAN. Maka tertanamlah dalam hatiku rasa cinta kepadanya"

Who wouldnt fall in love to such a boy?

Baru-baru ini juga ada kisah kitty bermuka dua dilahirkan di Perth (ke Adelaide tak ingat la pulak). One of her mouths (geez sounds weird) had cleft palate, so she could only suckle from the other. Both mouths however, meow simultaneously when she moew-ed. Sangat sedih sekali!! They could not predict her prognosis, as they never have seen such a case before. Yesterday's news reported the death of the poor kitty. Satu lagi kisah meruntun jiwa.

Kenapa cerita kisah meruntun jiwa? Mungkin sebab tengah rasa melankoli, dan rasanya kisah-kisah begini dapat mendidik hati untuk jadi lembut sedikit ^_^. I always cair to cats and kitties =(

Anyways saya dah habis exam yang paling dreaded tu. ('The exams which I dreaded the most' sounds more like it. Masalahnya bila campur2 bahasa ni). Alhamdulillah, at least I can keep the adrenaline at the safe level for a few weeks before results come out, and God knows what's going to happen next. Talking about hormone, stressful exam period have been a very difficult time for me. I guess I have adrenal crisis- lack of indogenous corticosteroid hehehe

Last exam this morning was viva voce (pronounced vee-vah voh-chee). Palpitation started last night, 12 hours before the exam time. I guess my heart got too tired to 'do palpitation' after so many hours, that this morning i was able to be a bit more relaxed. Alhamdulillah. Banyak sangat baca Al Insyirah plus doa nabi Musa. Plus tengok langit yang agung and thought "this exam is nothing compared to so many things in the world that are way more important". Alhamdulillah that He guided me to console and motivate myself. I wouldnt be able to utter a word if I was nervous. It happened before.

Was a bit relieved when Renato told me Grubor was in my exam room. We didnt know who was the second examiner though, then Arun came by. I nearly fainted and alarmed code blue. Exeggerated. Thank Allah he left 10 seconds after that.

First slide that came up was my not-so-favourite since I didnt quite get what he said in the lecture. Yes it was a slide from our lecture notes. Most of them are familiar ones, all praises to Allah! As expected he asked about the infection and pattern of infection spread! I thought it could be something in the maxillary antrum, but then it was a canine space infection. I thought it was going to spread to pterygomandibular space and buccal space, apparently what more important was it could spread via cavernous sinus to the brain! Nampaknya 1st slide was all rubbish blabber.

Next ones ok lah sikit kot, eventhough they asked weird unexpected questions like what does HPV do to the tissue (I dont know, they do something, but I guess they they do something to the keratinocytes and make them produce more keratin, thus making the lesion white). Alhamdulillah for the next Q Allah bagi ilham to list down complications of extracting upper molar that's close to the antrum- dislodgement into the antrum and oro-antral communication; which I didnt study. But that lead to the question of how to clinically assess oro-antral communication. Tettttt (bunyi buzzer). Alhamdulillahi taala. I actually been tutor-ed about it once during the surgery session (huh kalau escape surgery time tu, kan dah tak dpt ilmu. tak pernah escape pon). "we can have a look intraorally and can see the communication" "if you cant see it?".I got excited and was about to regurgitate what I learnt during surgery, only to realise that my memory isnt a remarkable one. (err I have a vague memory of getting the patient to pinch his nose, and there's something about breathing). Surely wasnt a H1 answer.

Oh one more one more. When Grubor was busy trying to select an OPG to question me, he actually mumbled about not knowing which one to choose. I went "can i choose?". "OK go on and pick your favorite". ALAMAK. Kalau dapat yang susah memang digging my own grave lah. "quick. dont waste our time". Oh takut sungguh! Alhamdulillah it was OK. No i dont have a grave site yet

Alhamdulillahi taala. Scariest exams are over for the time being. Now faiza faraghta fansab! Excited!!

2008-11-16T11:46:00.003+11:00

Sertailah kemeriahan dan berbagai informasi Famsy Malaysia di http://famsymalaysia.com

2008-11-09T09:38:00.002+11:00

Betulkah dah berlapang dada? Betul-betul lah lapangan dada!!! Cukup-cukuplah menzalimi diri sendiri. Ikhlaskan. Biar niat suci hanya keranaNya, biar yang masuk adalah pahala, bukan dosa!!

2008-11-06T10:23:00.002+11:00

Announcements much waited for...
This flutter in my tummy is getting worse... pushing up and above, going against peristalsis, I'm throwing up anytime now...
Not gastric reflux, it's called exam stress
Wa man yattiqallaha yaj 'allahu makhroja....

2008-09-30T13:12:00.002+10:00

Latest set of parcel of kuih mazola and pink sulam-ed tudung arrived at the doorstep. Thank you mommy!

Ramadhan is only 6hrs left... =( May Allah accept our deeds throughout the blessed month. May He grants us the strength to istiqamah in amal till the next Ramadhan, inshallah.

As for sahabah, they would make dua for all their deeds to be accepted the whole 6 months after Ramadhan, and for Allah to 'balligh' them to the coming Ramadhan, for the next whole 6months.

Moga taqwa natijahnya, ameen

Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum

2008-09-25T15:28:00.006+10:00

I'm starting to get Selamat Hari Raya wishes especially from high school friends in Malaysia. Wah tak sabar-sabar dah mereka nak raya kan. It's OK, raya is for us, privided we've done enough to celebrate it. If not, what's there to celebrate aite?

Just chatted to my high-school best buddy who recently became a 'puan' and now is 7-months preggie with her first child. First raya as a wife, she's going back to MIL's kampung this year and mengadu-ed to me. I told her that that's okay, Ive experienced 3 rayas away from family and they were all allright. In fact, theyre so much fun than raya at my home!

I went back for EidulAdha in Dec last year. Thought it was going to be meaningful after years of not having raya at home. Ayah was so semangat and made an effort to bakar lemang all by himself (accompanied by the late Si Bola yang bersidai tepi api). But everything else was still the same. Mom still get angry at pagi raya, coz she cant help it but to be angry at everything every pagi raya, which spoilt my mood. I wanted so much to contemplate and retrospect and menghayati the takbir. But it's so different in Malaysia, I came to realise.

Si Bola bersidai perut sebelah api lemang

If I were in Melbourne, the moment you wake up in the morning people around you would always always remind you to give thanks and syukur to God, all the time without fail. With every step to the masjid, what fills the air around you is remembrance of God, and thankfulness; all perfectly said in the takbir...

I made a conclusion that I like it better to have raya in perantauan. Who doesnt love all the lemang, ketupat pulut with kari daging (yummeh) , nasi minyak tok (huhu), but what matters more about hari raya is what the perayaan is about and how everything goes back to Him, the Creator. I'm glad 3 years of raya di perantauan has shifted my paradigm about the celebration =) Alhamdulillah

2008-09-24T17:42:00.002+10:00

25th day

Sejauh mana mendapat rahmat? Sejauh mana dah mintak dan dapat keampunan? Sejauh mana pula dosa diulang buat, seolah-olah tiada malu dengan Allah?

Sejauh mana agaknya jarak dengan neraka?

Sejauh mana puasa membuahkan taqwa? Sejauh mana azam dan keinginan yang awal-awal berkobar menjadi tolakan sampai hari ke-30?

Atau adakah sudah terbukti yang nafsu sendiri adalah dalangnya selama ini, hingga syaitan mampu ketawa terbahak-bahak di hari pembebasan mereka tidak lama lagi kerana bukan kerja keras yang mereka perlukan selama ini untuk menumbangkan manusia ini.

Memang sungguh, Allah tidak akan mengubah kamu jika kamu tidak berusaha untuk mengubah diri sendiri. Ya Allah, jika benar ada usaha, bantulah hambamu yang lemah ini. Kau yang sedang mendengar, Kau yang sedang memerhatikan, Kau yang Maha Melaksanakan....

2008-09-12T09:55:00.002+10:00

I was in theatre yesterday (as in surgical theatre). Wasnt so keen to go though, mainly because Ive had plenty of theatre rostered for me before, have taken out fair amount of teeth, and couldnt trust myself to stand up for about 31/2 hrs. I went anyway and was with Dr R who was unbelievably nice and motherly. I did a crappy job though, just standing from behind their heads, supporting the patients' head on either side while the surgeon worked in the mouth with few chances to peek to see what was going on. That was because, they say, I was the fourth most important person in the theatre after the patient, the surgeon, and the intern which in other words translated as the least important person there.

Anyhoo, the story was that when the anesthetist announced that they were having a birthday party down there in the tea room. Surgeon invited me to join. She was like "are you not eating?" "no". She came back 5mins later to find me reading dental material book (ah kantoi skema), and told me to scrub in. I scrubbed next to her. Then....

"so you're fasting"
"yes I am".

"tell me what is the reason for fasting"
I paused for 5 seconds to think of the best answer to give
"to please God, thats the main reason"

BIG AWKWARD PAUSE

then she went on and asked about what time to start eating and so on and so forth

Was the answer was too ganas or what? But I'm glad I said it. I hope it strucked her in some way, and may Allah give hidayah and show her the true way.

I remember Yusuf Estes story about how the muslim man who reverted him to islam- how he never tried to preach him. He was taking one step at a time. He told him whatever was necessary, told him what true islam was when events arised or when questions asked, but he did not preach. Yusuf Estes believes so much that debates just heat people up, it doesnt bring nur. Ive seen it, and I believe in it too. And now, that pretty much becomes my approach in revealing islam to yet-to-be-muslims out there.
I try my best (oh diriku yg lemah ini) to be a muslim in everything I do. And I know people associate whatever I do with my religion. No more lengthy explanation to please them and trying to suit to their wants when people ask one short question unless demanded otherwise. I'd try to say what the core of the issue is. And hopefully my akhlak would say most of it.

2008-09-06T10:00:00.003+10:00

Setelah sekian lama tak update, hampir-hampir terlupa username dengan password pon ade....

Amaazing things happened in a matter of a week. After a sorrow of about the whole first semester, Allah compensated everything in a week! Alhamdulillah ya Allah!! And if I were to count His blessings, o my God o my God,how could one ever say Allah has abandoned you?! He Gives without counting, He Gives and Gives like the pouring of the rain, tsatjaajaa (rujuk an Naba'). Alhamdulillah, I give credit to the Ramadhan month of barakah...

What other things that I spend most of my time on other than clinic and dentistry right? (yeahh a bugger) So here goes...

2nd semester started like the worst ever. Everytime I did something in the clinic, it must have been the wrong thing! No one was more kalut, silly, foolish than yours truly. You name it, Ive done it. One of my early 2nd sem patient (whom Ive ripped off my list for not turning up over and over again) needed an ortho band around a broken tooth, and while preparing the tooth to fit the band, the unstable shaky hand of mine successfully cut the adjacent teeth as well. So smart of me not protecting the adjacent tooth with a Tofflemire or something. The danger of being in dentistry- most of the things you do is not reversible eg when picking up the bur and cutting enamel and dentine. Once its gone, its gone. Unlike picking up a stethescope, or drawing blood from someone which will regenerate in no time... Demonstrator was madddd....decided to stay by my side and NURSE FOR ME till the rest of the procedure so she could keep a close eye on me!!!

What else...ahh so many that I couldnt keep track of them... Breaking a primary model of my crown patient's because being so smart, even after a warning from a friend, decided to make a special tray on the model without seperating with wax layers. Guess how the special tray material clinged onto the model?! Which took me another clinical session just to take another impression to make a new model from. Patient wasnt happy.

The worst of all, the ultimate sin in dentistry, a perforation during endo. At the WORST level. Thats as bad as having your patient dead on the surgical table in a surgery. After like a hundredth visit to get his endo treatment done, I added up to the problem by creating the perforation. Sweet huh. Best part? patient came in 2 weeks later with pain and swelling. I think I was close to be kicked out of the clinic by the demonstrator. It was as if I could see in her eyes with her saying "how come this dangerous girl is doing dentistry?" Huhu I made it up, demonstrator was extremely nice, kagum how she could be as sabar...

The most recent of all, I forgot to Vitrebond line the same endo pakcik punye amalgam restoration. And 2 days ago he reported severe sensitivity when metal spoon touches the filling- galvanic reaction. I mean, that could have been avoided if Vitrebond lining was used!! I was like "can you not get your spoon too deep to the back so it wont touch the filling?" and "did it get any better? I hope it will go away one day" Boohoo. I'm so gona ask Prof Tyas what to do. Poor pakcik

With all of the above said, plus the pressure of inability to find a patient for a practical exam, my life was a catastrophe. What with the bashing in exo clinic where the demonstrator just purposely asked the already nervous me ANATOMY questions in front of the patients! How on earth would I remember anatomy after 2 years huhu. Consequently the patient no longer trusted me and demanded the demonstrator to be there when I was to do the procedure. Sad. (ahaha after that I got so determined and went back and revise my anatomy, the next time when I bumped into the demonstrator he actually asked the SAME question again, and answered it away with confidence. Huhu. Ok, I just need to be more rajin and revise my anatomy so I wouldnt be a dangerous operator. Checked)

And what happened in the first 5 days of Ramadhan? Allah compensated it all! 1st Ramadhan - Post core cementation in crown patient and temporary crown made for his front tooth. Went ever so smoothly. Amaaaazing how He made it eaaasy for me!! Patient walked out happy chirpy with his new tooth.
3rd ramadhan- practical exam day. Thank God I finally got a chair for the day when patient could come in. I was VERY nervous in the moning, but after waiting for examiners for so long, and after a chat with patient's wife, I was nervous no more when examiners came over to ask questions. Best part-one of the examiners was Dr Westmore, and knowing him, he asked me only basic questions as how one would normally do in normal GP session. One of the biggest hikmah I didnt get to do my exam in my original session- where they got Dr J who just bombarded them with questions; he even made up some words that no one ever heard of. And he practically failed one of my group mate for not being conservative in cavity prep - I wonder what he would say If she left caries material in order to be conservative...Poor group mate
And my exam went OK- I was quite unsure as they didnt really say anything- and was unsure whether I left some caries material as there were some dark spots that I could see although they were hard. Alhamdulillah, I did not receive any email saying I failed, meaning I passed it!!
4th Ramadhan- I finally completed the endo patient's endodontic treatment, after the 10th appointment! Obturation was good, both demonstrators liked it, pakcik finally got it done, I finally completed 1 endo treatment and eventually learned the technique to take a periapical radiograph of front tooth. And treatment was finished on time. How could Allah be kinder to me?

And I dont want anything else but the ability to prostrate and humble down in front of Him, pouring my heart out with thankfulness and full worship, and giving my heart to no one else but Him....

2008-06-28T14:54:00.004+10:00

Tested again and again.
O Allah, when i'm tested, i want to be able to make a turn back to You. O Allah, when i'm tested i do not want to fail. I fear You more than anything else...
twas ridiculous. couldnt have happened unless planned. by HIM....

2008-06-23T22:25:00.002+10:00

Manusia datang dan pergi. Jatuh bangun tetap sendiri. Suka dan tawa. Menang atau kalah, diri yang rasai. Tak ada yang bersisa di bucu hati. Kerana niat hati pulangnya pada Ilahi.

2008-04-09T21:48:00.003+10:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

Do not say anything about this thing that has gone on hibernation. Isnt that what bears do in winter?

KR went to a talk about Palestinian this evening. Was only just then. It was fantastic. KR can't really summarize what was presented in KR own words because errr KR words arent sufficient..? And hey, why would KR provide you with the privilege of all these info when you didnt bother to attend the talk yourself? Haha kid-dingg

Presentation given by a researcher who apparently went to Lebanon in the process of doing the research. Talk was mainly talking about Palestinian refugee in Lebanon. Too focused, yes, didnt really talk about what happened in a bigger picture, and what the root of the problem actually was. That's not a biggie, would rather not waste time arguing on that. Fulfilling and informative, it was. KR now has an idea about what is going on with our sisters and brothers there.

Mashallah, KR just knew that these people have been refugees for 60 years now. That's at least for 2 generations! What made KR think that it was just recently that this issue arose? How ignorant! Picture it- they have been living in settlement camps with very limited facilities for the past 60 years! Some, eg families with 10 members are forced to live in 2-bedrooms 'houses' (if they are to be called houses at all). Imagine their struggle. Day in day out are struggle-for the whole live especially in the young generations. These people have nothing more substantial in their mind except the struggle, the resistant, the fighting for basic human rights to return to their home country even if they live normal lives, go to school, go to work, get married, love, quarrel, give birth, die. But you can tell how they have this hope and goal that's always there, never diminished by triviality of misleading daily lives. UNLIKE US

UNLIKE US. How many of us, our friends, the malays, they malaysian, the government funded students, the ones enjoying all privileges in life Allah could provide for-for the whole life, how many of these people live their lives, having the main objective of life in mind all the time, without deviating, without playing around wanting to HAVE FUN ALL THE TIME?? Shame on you whoever you are

KR looked around the lecture theatre. Shame on us big time! Majority of the audience were non-muslim. KR could head count how many hijabbed heads were there. Couldnt tell how many of the men were muslims though. These people did not come only for the sake of coming,mind you. God, they were well-taught, very well equipped with the knowledge of the issue. KR doesnt have to go on and elaborate how just the questions asked illustrated who these people were. And they are no closer related to the Palestinians as how lion in the desert is related to the labi-labi in the river. (Yeah mari buat parable sendiri) Look at the effort they put in getting involved with the issue, even if they dont do anything about it. Who knows what they do?

What do we do? Complaining about how you're getting less of Nando's 'supply coz this new placement town of yours is so rural that you think you're gonna die in 18hrs? Whining about how JPA wouldnt allow you to work overseas, that you think you're gonna die from driving Proton Wira as your first car after graduating? About how your boyfriend couldnt afford the brooch from Tiffany that you've been drooling over the past 2 weeks? Shame on us

2008-03-04T18:10:00.000+11:00

Daripada Nabi sallaLlahu ‘alayhi wa sallam bersabda, “Jika kamu melihat Allah memberi kepada seorang hamba habuan dunia atas maksiat yang dilakukannya dari apa yang disukainya, maka sesungguhnya itulah ISTIDRAJ”.

Lalu Rasulullah sallaLlahu ‘alayhi wa sallam membaca (surah al-An’aam ayat 44):

Kemudian apabila mereka melupakan apa yang telah diperingatkan mereka dengannya, Kami bukakan kepada mereka pintu-pintu segala kemewahan dan kesenangan, sehingga apabila mereka bergembira dan bersukaria dengan segala nikmat yang diberikan kepada mereka, Kami timpakan mereka secara mengejut (dengan bala bencana yang membinasakan), maka mereka pun berputus asa (dari mendapat sebarang pertolongan). [Hadith riwayat Ahmad]

2008-01-31T15:16:00.000+11:00

The most memorable day of her life. KR can't thank Allah enough!! =)

2008-01-28T12:48:00.000+11:00

Ya Allah, jangan jatuhkan diriku dalam pelukan syaitan. Ya Allah, ikhlaskan niatku, sucikan hatiku. Ya Allah pelihara daku sentiasa dalam tarikan iman Mu. Ya Allah suluhkan langkahku hanya pada matlamat yang satu. Hanya padaMu rafak doaku

2008-01-25T22:59:00.000+11:00

Masih berusaha inshaAllah. Sile doakan..jangan lupa

2007-12-07T09:34:00.000+11:00

Salam 'alaik

Alah loves KR.Allah loves KR. Allah loves KR. That is enough to explain everything. Is she dare to ask for anything more?

The room is overlooking the ever-busy Peel St. The traffic is bad, was horrible earlier, at this hour in the morning, which reminds KR: ah how nice to not having to face bad traffic in EVERY ride to uni anymore. Alhamdulillah. It IS one big bounty from Allah alhamdulillah. No excuse to be late for lectures anymore aite

The 7th of Dec. Results day, also 2 days away from KR's flight to Kuala Lumpur. KR has no heart for Malaysia at the mo. No, there's no sentiment against the country itself. All the preparations all these while, are for whom if not for Malaysia. Just the suffocating certainty, so to speak, at home. God knows how KR is dreading it. KR can't afford the newly rebuilt self to be stifled and retarded again, and it takes merely weeks, for God's sake. And guess how much effort and time spent to rebuild from the rubbles? Let's make a mind calculation of how things are going to be like when KR is finally to stay there for good. Not that it's going to be soon (God forbid) cause there's 2 more years before KR finishes the BDSc inshaAllah, but 2 years isn't that long is it? Distressing, that's how KR likes to describe it, and terrifying. Torn between the duty as a child (and provider to the family?) and a bigger responsibilty to the ummah. KR knows that there shouldn't be a conflict at all, as they are meant to walk in harmony side by side. Yes, maybe the shortcomings are within KR herself. Checked.

The laid-back air in Melbourne isn't much good. Unlike previous years, this summer is rather quiet. (This is one spur to go home. Maybe there are lots of 'things' to attend to in Alor Setar, KR is preparing the mind for them. Yayy let's get some 'job' to be done) Masa lapang boleh menjadi kelalaian, they say. KR could not deny. It's during the spare time when KR starts to make many useless thinkings, and by that KR means the thinking about herself. And when one starts to think about oneself, she ceases thinking about other people, she forgets about the far-fetched aim, becoming more and more self-centered. When a daie is jobless, she speaks and condemns and complains and moans, to no good.

There's this saying KR really loves in Ar-Raqaiq that condones us to tarbiyyah the soul to love highness, for that is the means to tarbiyyah the soul to detest lowness. Think less about yourself, but more of other people. Tarbiyyah yourself, your mindset, your paradigm to see yourself as the function of the ummah. Become someone useful to other people! (talk to the mirror) Tarbiyyah yourself to sacrifice and work towards the integrity of the ummah, for you are not casted into this world to just feed and live for yourself. As we can see how self-centered people are working like there's no tomorrow to fulfill their infinite needs and desperate hunger for the worldly-life, they will do ANYTHING for it. Then comes the world of materialistic, discrimination and suppression. People work for material, for the best job, the best position, the best house, the best car FOR OWN FAME. Isn't it painstakingly common for people to see you from what car you drive, what brand is your handbag etc, like if you're driving second-hand manual Wira and you wear baju kurung everywhere, people see you as second class citizen.

Now can we ask ourselves, with transparency, whether we are working hard for all these while just to fulfill our own desires? If, God-willing, they are fulfilled, are we actually happy with ourselves? KR sees how different people leading the same sort of life, but one can mysteriously be less happy than the other, or even the so-called 'less fortunate' (who understandably should be more distress) does actually lead a happier life than the 'more fortunate' counterpart. Sounds familiar? Happiness is not in worldly gains, if you could ever get this fact jammed in the head. It's true, proven by the experience in school of life, and life has taught KR tremendously.

(which brings KR back to the main issue) argghh rumah yang mengkeraskan hati dan mengkeringkan amal, if ever the people in the house could be less materialistic! Look how much KR has ranted, tutt tutt jobless daie...

On another note, of course there's always silver lining in every cloud. Yes, being home this summer provides KR with the first-time ever opportunity to taste the summer in Malaysia. Bile lagi kan. First year KR went home too late in January, last year didn't go back at all, should make the most of this year's summer! And also the first chance ever to go to akhawat's walimah. Yayy. (though there's maybe one walimah that KR would be able to attend, mom wasn't very happy even way before KR gets home with the idea of berjalan-jalan pergi kenduri orang) And there's my high school best friend getting married on the 15th, which KR couldn't miss. She's KR's classmate for 5 years in a row,for crying out loud, and how they grew up together from cranky 12 year-olds to a more mature version of cranky young ladies about 5 years later =p, KR could not miss her big day! Whatever mom says. Period. Ahh don't worry,not to the extent of turning anak derhaka.

Occay, there's finally a reason to be happy about going home ^_^

2007-11-29T16:04:00.000+11:00

Terima kasih Allah atas ujian yang menatijahkan ketergantungan. Terima kasih Allah atas mehnah yang membawa hati sujud pasrah hanya padaMu

2007-11-21T11:17:00.000+11:00

Her and her foul mouth. Why not plunge in the above water, away and safe from everything else?

2007-11-06T16:24:00.000+11:00

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. All praise are only for Allah, for only Allah is worthy of praise. Alhamdulillah for this vastness, this submission, this redha, this non-complicatedness =p. How else can KR describe it, He understands what's portrayed and not portrayed inshaAllah.

KR has just finished her first exam for this semester-Scientific Principle and Surgical Practice. One huge paper over and done with, inshaAllah. It was okay, except for question 2 where it asked for histo-patho description for patchy mixed radioopacity-radiolucency. KR knew it well, it could not be the malignant osteogenic sarcoma because osteogenic sarcoma has the characteristic sunray-spicules appearance, plus the patient presents fit and healthy despite the ripe 72 years of age. Can never be a malignancy can it? But, rather than giving a half-paged answer KR decided to give it a go with 3 differential diagnoses, which only fibro-osseous lesion would be acceptable, KR reckons. Sigh sigh, nevermind, putting hope on the other 3 answers inshaAllah.

The day after tomorrow would be Removable Partial Dentures design practical exam and...wire bending!!!!!!!!!!!! Better finish with RPD revision and devote herself to wire bending exercise for the next 2 days to come. Oh hold on, KR only has one day and half to go =p. Determined to practice till she can do the 90degree angle and smooth semi-rounded angulation for I-bar clasp without a hitch ^_^ Go go!

And now, she's at level 7 of Med faculty, invading the one and only opened PBL room, what else but to accompany miss eTiga studying for her next killer paper tomorrow morning. KR herself is mentally fatigued after the 3hrs written essay this morning, thus the excuse of doing this =p. Oh and the brain did suck up a gross amount of glucose when it was working hard. Next time dont forget to smuggle a handful of lollies into exam hall aite.

And yes, bedford is tenang enough for KR to focus. Alhamdulillah =)

And in these past few days KR has been reflecting on these ayah about how Allah mentions over and over again in the Quran, about the nikmat of eyesight, hearing and the heart/soul (sam'awal absara wal af idah). There's one in surat al Mulk as well.

The fact that Allah mentions the heart as one of the nikmat that mankind should be really really really thankful about is conspicuous enough for KR. The heart! Imagine having the eyes and ears and being able to enjoy all the splendor of this world, the perfect blueness of the sky, the turquoise yet blue yet sometimes green borderless ocean, the indescribable beauty of the created human beings, the glowing stars standing out from the blackness of the night sky, ahh pardon my limited ability to describe these beautiful creations of Allah. Imagine looking at all these, and imagine looking at them without a heart. Imagine how meaningless these are without the role of the heart playing with the feelings, allowing the serenity to slowly creep, or the helplessness upon realising the enormity of the world and the ever Most Enormous Creator when human beings cannot help but to fall back and submit in humbleness to Him.

Imagine living in this world without the heart. Imagine having all these friends around you, and you're satisfied with them helping you with this and that and you pay back by giving a hand here and there, but you have no heart to love them. And you have no heart to secretly smile with love for them when they turn around because you know they're not looking. And imagine having everything this world could offer, being the most beautiful person under the sun, having the most money, having the smartest brain, and working the job you desire the most (like drilling people teeth day in day out? =p) but not having a heart to feel for the love and life around you. How bland..how tasteless

Because He knows the most, because He loves us, because he wants us to have the juicy bit of this life that He granted this most unbelievable gift of heart to us. KR has no better way to put it. Afala tasykurun? Afala tasykurun. Verily human are thankful not but a little.

2007-10-23T19:48:00.000+10:00

Surgery lecture this morning, we were talking about airways. It was 8 o' clock lecture and KR was still groggy-headed and it wasnt making much sense. Images of people with smashed head injuries, swollen face to unrecognisable extent with blood splattering all over the place wasnt at all impressive. Then he went and talked about tracheostomy, which is one of the procedures to mantain the airway when one has got a severe facial injury or anything like that, that would prevent him/her to breath normally through the nose and mouth. The picture below might help you to have a better understanding of what this blabber is all about.... ooops couldnt attach picture...nevermind google it yourself if ever interested. It's actually an incision (or cut) that you make in the neck (err there are anotomical structures to be observed tho) to actually allow breathing. So normally a tube is put through the hole you just cut and respiration occur through there instead of up there in the nose.

Occay, that is not the main point of this entry. He then mentioned that in people with tracheostomy (which they mainly hang onto for quite some time in some cases) this one problem could occur- low oxygen saturation- which in simple words mean that they arent getting enough oxygen concentration due to the position of the spot of gas exchange which is too low from what it's meant to be. OH MY GOD, The Lord Almighty! KR doesnt have any idea how many people actually realised that in the lecture this morning, but that just exhibited how as trivial as it might seem, Allah has actually put everything together in perfect perfection(yeah, that's to highlight it better)! Minor as it might seem, for just less than 10cm of change, it never is the same as what God has given and destined for you! Subhanallah allahuakbar. So which favor of your Lord do you deny? Human would think that they're smart enough that they are still able to mantain the patient in breathing state, but if they were to think more deeply, it is nothing but a mere desperate attempt to mimic God's creation.

A hot news was in the air today. One of our classmate is leaving, for good. Nobody could understand why he made such a decision after 3 years, him being always a keen, enthusiastic type of person towards anything that has to do with dentistry. That was a total shock, obviously. And then Jac told how this guy from her group (name forgotten hehe) who hardly turned up to anything, not even clinics. A lil bit of here and there, but that's it. Even weird. No one knows what actually is going on with this guy. That made KR actually thinking, and couldnt help being grateful for He is still putting KR here. Despite the tremendous amount of hurdles, KR is still cruising along steadily alhamdulillah. And He's shown it once again that nothing in this world happens but with His wills. And should you bring together everything in this earth and from the heaven, together put an effort for something, it would never happen except by His will alone...

2007-10-20T17:53:00.000+10:00

Diatas nama cinta
Pada yang selayaknya
Kunafikan yang fana
Moga dalam hitungan
Setiap pengorbanan
Agar disuluh cahaya redha-Nya

2007-10-18T22:47:00.000+10:00

(Cant be bothered to change all the 'I's into my glam-nickname KR)

No! I cant contain it. I have to post right away. Why? Because i just had a clinic, and it just needs to be blogged on!!!

Okay, we had perio clinic. I was already running late, alhamdulillah the traffic was not that bad so my drive to school was quite ok. When i arrived, i just knew that i had to retrieve the patient's record folder from the record room because i just keyed my appointment into EXACT yesterday, and there the long queue waited for me. Good good. I ran upstairs, passing by the waiting room, pretending not to look because i didnt want to meet my patient's eyes. Told you i was running late, he must have been there already!

Long story cut short, i set up ala kadar and just waited for my demonstrator to come before bringing the patient in. Clock ticked away, and she still hasnt appeared. So, brought the patient in, made some petty conversations and ran away to hunt for the demonstrator. Still no news. When it was about 1/4 past 2, we made a fuss, and bugged the nurses, people in the reception, other groups' demonstrators and people from other groups as well. Heh. Tak sabar ok because it was already 2.15, and we couldnt start without a demonstrator, and perio clinic is just for 2hrs sahaja! Turned out that nobody could contact her, and she apparently didnt contact anyone in the school to inform about the nonattendance. So senior nurse suggested that we resort to other group's demonstrators, which was why i received the comment from (tall) Mel "you stole our demonstrator Aini". "Yes because i'm so mean" "yes, you are" with a smile.

On another note, people have been complaining how there wasnt any ultrasonic scaler left in the clean instruments' trolleys. So, as you can imagine the clinic this afternoon was a mess. So, while i was waiting in the queue for the demonstrator, chatted with (alamak lupa la nama dia, Yvone kot) the German DA. "clinic is such a mess this afternoon. Our demonstrator didnt turn up (should we call it a NOSH hehe), and we're out of scalers." sambil menggeleng-geleng dan bermuka sesal.Hamboih hamboihh pandai sangat la komplen!! But yeah, how are we expected to do perio clinic without scalers?? Hand instruments all the gross heavy calculus???? And when i later looked for LA kit, they too, was found to be out of stock as well. Arghhh...dalam kekalutan , so i grabbed the Cons kit (because there's also LA kit in the Cons kit), only later to be tegur-ed by the DA because Cons kit is largely equipped with LOTS of Cons instruments, and the one i used was only the LA syringe. So it's a big waste aite, since all the rest of the instruments will be sterilised all over again, though they arent dirty.

It was quite difficult to have a senior nurse assisting because she knows a lot, and she has a lot of rules too! No wiping off mirrors onto the gown, no retracting with fingers, put the scaler up onto the handpieces' machine top, and there was something else, lupe pulak. Ok ok ok..no need to argue and create tension...just nod to whatever they say, cause most of the things ARE true.

And the clinic was slow-moving simply because i needed to wait for a long queue and couldnt be too pushy because i was menumpang-ing other people's demonstrators kan. Left pakcik patient in the x-ray bay for 10mins kot with the super heavy lead apron on, due to the queue issue again. Alhamdulillah Mel and Tahlia gave their turn to me though they were at that time ahead of me in the queue. But i somehow managed, with stable hand (no more shaking this time alhamdulillah yayyyy) did LA on the upper anteriors, up to the 5 on Q1, and scaled 11, 12, 13 with root planing on 11D and 12D which had 6-7mm pockets! Could sense my scaling and root planing was improving, alhamdulillah the efforts all these while havent gone to waste bin. Smile smile....=). When the demonstrator came and check,no calculus was left in the deep pockets =) thank you Allah for that. The next best thing was, (petite) Mel and i didnt have to present the seminar today cause apparently no one would be nerd and skema enough to organise for the seminar, yes? So we just distributed the handouts and they can read them themselves at their own leisure =). Oh i owe Mel a drink for printing out the handouts

Oh hold on, here's the climax of the story for today. When i took my patient's folder to be signed off by Dr Yap, the ibu tumpang demonstrator, she then asked about my 'other sheet'. Perplexed. " What other sheet? Oh, we dont have the log sheet for perio session this semester because we havent got it back from last sem" i said confidently in as-a-matter-of-fact tone. Bijak sangattttt. "But all the other people have got it, and i just signed them" Dr Yap. "really???" white-faced. Sangat bijak??????? NO?

For your information (oh this might be a lengthy explanation) the perio log sheet is a sheet where u need to write down every info in every clinic session, and needs to be signed off by the demonstrator every time you have clinic. It is a proof and record of your performance in the clinic, for the course coordinator to refer to, in order to mark for your clinical component. As far as i'm concern, back tracking of signing isn't normally allowed. Bijak sangat that i assumed we didnt need to print out the sheet ourselves and could get away with it. Bijak sangat that i trusted the others earlier in the semester when they say they havent got the sheet. Apparently, EVERYONE has it now... And there's no prize for guessing what mark could i get from a blank sheet...

You can imagine how as soon as i reached home, rushed to the computer and checked yahoo email, naah, emailed Dr Polster, the perio coordinator, asking for mercy huhuuuu.... Mind you im already losing marks for 1st semester's perio clinic for not having enough clinical experience since NONE of the patients ever turned up. According to Dr Polster, she wont fail me because it wasnt my fault, but, it's a disadvantage not having patient... Can i afford to lose marks again for this semester you asked??? So much of complaining that clinic was such a mess in the beginning, and who's a mess now???

"And whoever fears Allah-He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect" 65:2-3 . Hanging onto this aayah now... Do make dua' for me...jazakallah khayr

2007-10-17T07:49:00.000+10:00

The temperature just sky-rocketed on Monday, and now has plummeted back to old Melbourne weather that we need to push the fan back into the store room. My my...

2007-10-15T20:35:00.000+10:00

It's just like wire bending; the practice we have to do for bending clasps and there's prac exam for it too; when you try correct one end, the other end just goes haphazard. And it forever cant be right.

Up the hills, down the valley. Oh, He does have an extremely creative way of getting her tested, interestingly enough!

2007-10-13T22:16:00.000+10:00

Eid is here. Alhamdulillah, segala puji bagi Allah yang masih sudi mengurniakan nikmat merasai kemenangan 1 Syawal. Kami hanya bertakbir ala kadar, kurang 10 orang pun di tempat KR bertakbir. Tak ada suara-suara merdu dan mendayu macam dalam TV. Tapi ruhnya hadir. Alhamdulillah...

Segala puji bagi Allah jua yang memudahkan segala urusan sepanjang bulan mulia yang baru berlalu itu. Jika dihitung, memang sebenarnya dipermudahkan. Bak kata Zuwariah, cuaca sangat baik kepada kita. (the weather has been so kind). Ya, itu baru satu aspek. Dalam semua perkara lain, kalau bukan Allah yang memberi kekuatan dan kemudahan, jadi ke kita nak buat semua nya?

KR personally gembira dengan Ramadhan 1428H ini. Bukanlah yang terbaik, tidak juga dapat menandingi rakan-rakan, akhawat yang lain di sini. Bukanlah berjalan lancar seperti yang diharap-harapkan. Terbabas tu tak dapat dielak juga. Di mata orang lain juga mesti KR kena kutuk sebab sebenarnya banyak saja kekurangannya (ooops ter su'u zhon pulak). Tapi ada beberapa perkara yang tak perlu disebut di sini yang KR rasa bahagia kerana Allah permudahkan KR mencapainya. Bagaimana dapat KR berterima kasih padaNya. Moga disampaikan kepada Ramadhan 1429, agar dapat kita buat yang lebih baik

Segala puji bagi Allah yang melapangkan, seluas-luasnya pada pagi 1 Syawal. KR ingin kembali kepada fitrah, macam bayi yang baru melungsur keluar melihat dunia. Bersih. Harap dapat disucikan dosa dari jemari kita yang bersalam-salaman. KR tiada apa-apa against sesiapa. Harap begitu juga sebaliknya. Jika ada yang tersilap tersalah faham tu, anggap macam batu dalam nasi saja ya? Mungkin senang bagi KR melafazkan, kerana KR jarang terjejas dengan manusia lain. Terkilan biasa, terjejas tidak. Tapi bagi manusia lain yang sentiasa menahan telinga, mata dan hati gara-gara KR, oh bagaimanakah nak KR jelaskan. Ketahuilah apa yang keluar dari mulut KR tu, adalah setakat itu sahaja; tiada pernah ada maksud lain di sebaliknya; tak kira tersirat tersurat atau ter-email. Ketahuilah apa yang tersasul itu tiada pernah ada niat menghina atau menjatuhkan, melainkan gurauan yang tak terdidik. Ketahuilah dalam hati KR tidak ada prasangka-prasangka yang dilayan. KR happy sahaja dengan semua, dengan apa saja situasi, kerana untuk KR mengharapkan manusia lain memahami kekurangan diri, KR harus dulu menerima kekurangan orang lain. Juga kerana KR tahu tiada sesiapa yang disekat jalannya untuk berlari menuju Allah. Jalan terbuka luas, terpulang pada diri bagaimana dimanfaatkan

Segala puji bagi Allah juga yang melapangkan KR dari ketergantungan terhadap manusia, dan meletak keyakinan bahawa Dia lah perawat hati ini. Sungguh membelai kata-kataNya -

93:3 Your Lord has not taken leave nor has He detested you
93:4 And the hereafter is better for you than the first life
93:5 And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied
93:6 Did He not find you orphan and give you refuge
93:7 and He found you lost and guided you

Maka sungguh benarlah kata-kata Allah yang Maha Besar! Bila Dia menguji KR dengan keterhirisan, dan datang seorang ukht yang mengkhabarkan, dengan ucapan-ucapan yang tanpa disedarinya, sedang memujuk. Dan di situ lah perasaannya, Tuhan kamu memang tidak pernah meninggalkan. Moga ditetapkan kita dalam belaian kasihNya.

Eid mubarak! Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum

2007-09-19T22:45:00.000+10:00

(si bola lagi. tgk die buat2 comel)

Kawan-kawan!! Ramadhan adalah bulan kesabaran. Bersabarlah dengan kesabaran yang cantik =)

2007-09-19T10:55:00.000+10:00

Ramadhan dah masuk hari ke-7! Dah seminggu dah..senyap senyap je. Tak sedar langsung masa cepat betul berlalu. Beberapa hari je lagi habis la 1/3 ramadhan.... Jom muhasabah amal jom. Cemane cik KR?? Hangat2 taik ayam ke cemane? Bagus jugak kalau ade orang yg boleh constantly ingatkan diri ni..aishh... Teringat kata Sayyid Qutb dalam tafsir surah an nazi'at tentang ayat siang dan malam.... manusia ni selalu je amek ringan keajaiban Allah ni sampai tak sedar pon hari berganti-ganti. Betul ape. Beruntunglah orang yang setiap hari muhasabah diri, fikirkan umur yang makin singkat dan amal yang seiring atau tak dengan umur tu. Uit bukan seiring sama2 menjadi singkat pulak tau

Nak berkongsi syuur ramadhan sejak hari pertama lagi sebenarnya.Tapi sentiasa ada sesuatu yang lebih baik dilakukan selain menulis blog.... Busy sangat. Zup sana zupp sini...harini dah masuk seminggu. Alhamdulillah... Allah masih pemurah untuk memberikan syuur ramadhan ini sekali lagi tahun ni. Tahun lepas ada ukht tanya, timbul tak perasaan tenang dan damai tu masa ramadhan. Hurmm tahun ni lebih-lebih damai alhamdulillah. Hari pertama tu KR tengah jalan ke hospital, terasakan dunia pantas bergerak di sekelilingnya chewah. Tapi disebalik kekalutan itu KR dapat merasakan lembut kehangatan pancaran matahari menyimbah ke mukanya, seolah-olah hari itu berteriak dan Allah sedang menyampaikan kata-kata kasihNya "hari ini dah masuk ramadhan. bulan mulia, hari mulia. pintu-pintu syurga dibuka, rahmat Allah meliputi seluruh alam, syaitan dibelenggu, bulan di mana rezeki melimpah ruah, amalan sunat diberi ganjaran amalan fardhu, dan amalan fardhu ganjarannya 70x. rebutlah peluang ini wahai orang-orang beriman, berlumba-lumbalah kamu ke arah Tuhanmu"

Kesihatan alhamdulillah jugak, so far so good. Oh rupa-rupanya KR mesti mewajibkan diri untuk minum air manis semasa berbuka...kalo tak lembik macam apa, rasa macam nak tido aja. Isk.bahaya. Eat well, drink plenty of water! Teringat nikmat kesihatan ni, wajib disyukuri. Cemane kalau satu hari nanti, tahun depan ke tetibe dapat sakit lutut ke ape ke (sebab dah tua kan, tahun depan dh masuk 24 inshaAllah) and pehtu tokleh rancak bejalan ke frank tate macam sekarang, mesti masa tu baru teringat kemanisan kesihatan yang Allah bagi sekarang.. Oh..mase tu aku boleh solat dengan senang... Imam baca satu juzuk pon takde rase nak pitam...bila nikmat dah kena tarik baru nak besyukur ke. Meh la puji Allah sekarang, dan semoga dia terus meringankan kita untuk menambah amal, wabadanan hayyanan layyanan bit to'atik ameen.

Harapan semoga kita semua istiqamah, sampai ramadhan2 tahun depan2, dan alangkah manisnya jika syuur ramadhan ini dapat dihayati oleh semua orang-orang di sekeliling KR, orang-orang yg KR sayang, kawan-kawan KR, semua umat islam, andai mereka sedar special nya ramadhan ni. SPECIAL sangat. tak boleh biasa-biasa macam hari-hari biasa di luar ramadhan.

Kumengharapkan ramadhan kali ini penuh makna, andai ini yang terakhir, jadikanlah ia yang terbaik. ameen

2007-09-09T11:44:00.000+10:00

si bola leper

There is more to life than trying to amuse yourself by hammering people with your sarcasm. Its not funny

2007-09-08T17:41:00.000+10:00

Just discovered. Lirik ni sungguh menyentuh hati...

Tapi Engkau pun tahu
Onak dan duri pada dunia-Mu
Engkau ciptakan pagar rintangan
Harga cinta-Mu jiwa ku korban

Tuntun langkahku ini
Tunjukkan jalan yang Kau redhai
Jangan biarkan hamba terkorban
Dengan dunia

Kan?

Oh...65 Royal Pd tu sungguh menarik. Dan pada pandangan dan penilaian kacamata kami, inshaAllah pertimbangannya neraca langit, sangat-sangat strategik. Ya Allah, kalau itu yang terbaik untuk kami, permudahkanlah. Takut menaruh harapan tinggi-tinggi. Kalau jatuh sakit..hehe. Masalah dengan KR. Sebab takut, cita-cita tak letak tinggi, jadilah usahanya ala kadar saja. Ada satu cerita...malaslah..nanti kontroversi

Ramadhan kurang seminggu sahaja lagi. Kalau masih belum berperasaan terhadap Ramadhan, masih belum terlambat untuk memupuk dan menyuburkan perasaan itu. Semoga kita tak tertipu macam dulu-dulu, besar sangat rahmat Ramadhan ni yang kite terlepas macam tu saja. Yang dok ingat raya, baju nak warna apa, cukup ayukah aku pagi raya nanti, kuih apa nak buat supaya dapat title 'anak dara yang cun lagi pandai buat kuih'. Haishh... Mulakan dengan kecintaan terhadapnya, kecintaan untuk menambah kualiti dan kuantiti ibadah kita, panjatkan doa moga Allah mudahkan. Kalau orang yang dok menaip ni dok sembang saja, luku kepala dia tau. KR percaya, dengan cinta segalanya akan mudah meluncur laju. Macam kalau kita tak cinta pada Rasulullah, mesti susah sangat untuk cari sebab nak amal sunnah-sunnah dia. Tapi sebab dah kenal sapa manusia agung tu, apa pengorbanan mulia dia, harumnya seerah baginda, dan dah terjatuh cinta (inshaAllah), terus ada sebab mengapa kita nak ikut apa yang Rasulullah buat dulu. hurmmm...

Kalau KR ada sesuatu yang dia malu, mesti asek dok terbayang sebab malu sangat, sampai dia cerita kat orang, dan orang tau dia malu, baru la lega sket. Isk isk isk (bukan ISK yang graf tu tau) malu sungguh dengan klinik hari jumaat (semalam). KR kalut sungguh, paling dahsyat masa nak ambil periapical radiograph patient. Bukannya tak pernah buat, PA dengan XCP instrument tu paling mudah dalam dunia. Tinggal nak align x-ray tube saja. Tengok-tengok kena panggil dengan demonstrator masa kalut terus nak masuk pi amek x-ray "aini aini aini aini aini!!!" kata encik demonstrator. Ya. Memang dia panggil banyak kali macam tu. Sebabnya instrument tu tak align betul-betul. Memalukan!! Budak dent 2nd yr pun confirm boleh buat dengan senang. Dah la film size besar, film edge was cutting into makcik patient's floor of mouth. Alhamdulillah makcik itu bukanlah tengah PMS. Dah la kalut nak align instrument, pehtu kalut nak lipat film bagi kecik, pehtu sebab tak muat jugak kalut kena lari pi cari PA film.

Masa nak buat local anaesthetic pulak, si pakcik demonstrator bagi arahan suruh numb up both upper and lower jaw on one side. KR tak pernah dengar pulak ada satu jab yang boleh numb both upper and lower skali!!?? Berapa jab nak kena bagi ni. Rupa-rupanya dia maksudkan RHS upper jaw sahaja. Yang tu tahulah, normal infiltration. Makcik patient pulak tak percaya KR sebab KR student. Takkan dia expect pakcik demonstrator bagi jab tu??? KR dengan penuh keyakinan terpaksa meyakinkan makcik tu yang KR dah buat banyak kali, jangan risau sangat. Al-kisah nurse terlupa amek topical anaesthetic, KR queen of kalut tu of course la tak ingat jugak!!! Terpaksa jab in jugak tanpa topical..oh makcik, maafkan diri ini. Pakcik demonstrator dah berdiri kat sebelah, takkan baru nak lari pi amek topical. Dan paling memalukan adalah ketidakstabilan tangan KR semasa mencucuk makcik itu...oh tidak. Ketaq buleh ka??!! Mengapa tangan ini perlu kurang glucose pada saat-saat genting? Kerana itu juga KR tak dapat push the injection dengan slow and steady, maka makcik tu yang memang nervous pun terpaksa tersakit. KR malu dengan pakcik demonstrator itu. Paling malu sekali. Mesti dia dah tahu semua kelemahan KR. Kerana KR adalah seorang yang tak suka gagal dan ketinggalan di belakang, kegagalan untuk menjadi competent di dalam klinik adalah sesuatu yang paling tidak disukai. Wajib belajar bertenang, buat satu demi satu, biar lambat sikit asal tak buat salah. (tenang macam steven kat bay sebelah tu ke? heh he hehhhh). Perlu mengingatkan diri bahawa klinik bukanlah dapur di mana kita boleh menumis sambil basuh pinggan dan run the washing machine all in one go. Yes perlu ingat!!

Ada sapa-sapa yang berani nak jadi patient KR lepas ni? huehuehuehue

2007-09-03T20:38:00.000+10:00

(i never scanned his baby pic)

My baby brother has grown up. He was this plump puffy eyed baby, bringing sunshine to the family for it finally was a baby boy. He was this baby whom I first learnt to henjut buaian for, sing lullaby for, and loved.

He was this toddler who always listened to me, and still is the obedient up till today =). This toddler who was always the model of choice for the kakaks 'make-up classes' and catwalk show (he seriously was lawa..huhu kasihan).

He was this little kid who always had to bow to the pressure of having bossy pembuli sisters. The kid who never had an answer to the kakaks' mean remarks (if u dont give me that seat in the car u never gonna pass your UPSR!), plastering the clueless innocent look, staring wide glossy eyed into their faces. This kid who'd always followed me into the kitchen, trying to get his hand on whatever task he could, who'd cook me Megi when i didnt (couldnt) fast during Ramadhan. This kid who had always asked for my tomyam-nasi-goreng. The kid who had always tried to make friend with me.

He was this young teenager who never put his necessities before others'. The one who'd returned $10 when Mak handed $20 for monthly pocket money (too much!). The teenager who never wanted a baju raya, what more to ask for one. The one who'd do anything I nicely asked him to (iwan, go wash the dishes PLEASE, iwan go angkat the kain PLEASE) He's this young man, always waited for my lasagna (u want lasagna, so go chop the onions, meat, mushroom, open all the cans bla bla bla). He's this young man so sensitive in the heart he asked me to go dakwah the whole family. He's this young man so soft in the heart, he went to the masjid for Isya and Maghrib jemaah prayer everyday when i persuaded him to. His this young man, still listening to me, he wouldn't hook up with the girl he likes so much, no matter what the girl tells him, because i told him not to. He's this young man who'd always 'bodyguarded' me when I need to go out, people would start giving us this weird look for seeing a heavily hijabbed girl going out with a guy.

Though somewhat 'contaminated' now, thanks to budaya KMB, he is still an innocent baby brother to me. I pray for the greatest something to happen to you, for Him to bless you with His hidayah and join me and the rest in this path. To this young man, who would fly off and lead his adult life soon. He will graduate in no time, before i could realise it, and will soon choose a girl and marry. I wonder when again are we gonna share the special moments like how we used to. I am truly gonna miss you

(not that innocent)

2007-08-18T12:25:00.000+10:00

KR wants to give the Shaytaan the sharpest look, staring into it until the path of vision berasap-asap, twisting KR's mouth in the deepest despise, biting on the lip till it bleeds! I mean, Shaytaan is the most DESPICABLE creature on earth, isnt it? As if they can win over KR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO AWAY!!

2007-08-17T21:18:00.000+10:00

No problem is a problem when you have a strong relationship with Him....

mari bace Fenomena Lemahnya Iman...semoga dapat teguhlah iman yang lembik ameen....

2007-08-15T19:03:00.000+10:00

Bila ku didatangi malam
Gelora perasaan mencengkam dijiwa
Masihkah ada lagi
Dayaku menghindar dari kealpaan

Diterjah berbagai persoalan
Dihujani airmata penyesalan
Bisakah terhapus semua
Segala dosa-noda yang bertakhta

Terangi jalan hidupku
Dengan cahaya kasih Mu
Pimpinlah daku dengan hidayah Mu

Tuhanku...
Di malam syahdu ku merayu
Ampunilah segala dosaku yang lalu
Sujud ku mendambakan keredhaan Mu
Tempatkan daku di dalam rahmat Mu

Tuhanku... <br> Usah Kau biarkan diri ku
Hanyut terleka, di jiwa dunia membelenggu
Dan aku sesungguhnya pasrah pada Mu
Hidup matiku hanyalah untuk Mu

Ya Allah tunjukkan jalan kebenaran
Suburkan jiwa ku dengan keimanan
Hanya pada Mu Oh Tuhan
Ku sandarkan harapan

2007-08-15T18:29:00.000+10:00

Seorang bayi bila berada dalam perut mak dia, dia duduk dalam beg. Beg tu orang panggil amniotic sac. Selagi mana seorang bayi berada dalam amniotic sac selagi itulah dia tak nampak dunia. Tak boleh keluar. Duduk dalam dunia dia sahaja.

haihh cant be bothered to correct all the typos in entries dulu dulu

2007-08-11T07:18:00.000+10:00

" Remember when He overwhelmed you with drowsiness (giving) security from Him and sent down upon you from the sky, rain by which to purify you and remove from you the evil (suggestions) of satan and to make steadfast your hearts and plant firmly your feet" 8:11

just what she needs...the rain that purifies...

2007-08-08T18:32:00.000+10:00

Sorry for the silence. Just wana do a quick post about mouthwash which i think is an important message to convey. No. This blog will not in any way will turn into a gigi blog (or has it?) Jazakillah. Here's....

Assalamualaikum and g'day all

Ehemm..first and foremost i'd like (aii apesal neves cm public speaking pule ni)wish everyone a blessed and happy day.

Tujuan hamba mengepost buletin ini adalah untuk inshaAllah let everyone know about an important fact about mouthwash usage, which i'm sure not everyone is aware of including me before i had a lecture on this topic.

InshaAllah this is also to fulifill my social responsibility as a Muslim, and hiding this fact from other people would be a sin, nauzubillah. It's a FAQ that i get from most ppl, and since i have a tiny weeny bit of knowldge, then i guess, why not sharing..?

Every Muslim should know that most mouthwashes contain alcohol, especially Listerine which has got 22-26% alcohol. Compare that to red wine which has abt 15% alochol content. pretty significant isnt it?

Pardon my short of knowledge abt mouthwashes in malaysian market, but do check out the alcohol content if you're planinng to buy a bottle. As in OZ market, only Oral-B has 0 alcohol content. (no no, i didnt get any royalty from oralB for saying this)

Occay, the 1st argument is, you really shouldnt use mouthwash because it contains alcohol. reckon everyone's aware of the fact that not even a drop of alcohol is permissible for us Muslims. I dont have to go on and explain how the mouthwash linger in your mouth after you rinse with it, and whether u can help it or not, memang masuk juga la walau 1 atom, do i?

HANG ON A SEC

occay, if u want to argue that only intoxicating alcohol that's haram. Yes, alcohol in mouthwash IS intoxicating muh dear. The only reason why OZ's penjara has banned mouthwashes is because the banduans use mouthwashes to substitute arak.

There are other reasons, but i dont intend to write a super wordy bulletin. Honestly, Melb Uni Dental School has long trying to hammer this idea in2 their students' head that mouthwashes are just A WASTE OF MONEY. They dont do u any good, unless you have some sort of infection in your mouth, mouthwash does help.
Nope, they dont act as berus gigi substitute, nor do they cure caries (the hole in ur teeth). The only reason why ppl sometimes need mouthwash is just when u need a quick fresh breath-that wouldnt really last long anyway.

Occay...i wont curi ur time any longer, my last word of advice would be, brush ur teeth the correct way, use floss (oh they dont in any way cause orthdontic-like teeth movement) and love ur teeth !! for any further oral advice, do seek it from qualified dentist occay!

oh and oh ya...do pass the important alcohol message around ya. thanks.may Allah reward u...see ya when i see ya

*teethy smile*

aini
seseorang yg blaja sket2 psl gigi

2007-06-15T14:27:00.000+10:00

With only two papers of one subject left, let KR take time to blog a bit....

Ooh it is not fun to come to the end of the exams. Simply because KR loves to have soo much time to study at her own pace and convenience, not that she's so good at optimizing the opportunity granted by the Almighty. ~one sigh there~

KR's been thinking that she must be a dyslexic. A normal person does not have an attention span of 1.5minutes does she? Worse still, a normal straight-minded person knows that she's carrying the BIG MASSIVE responsibility of studying for the sake of her deen. ~sigh no2 there~

KR's been thinking, this concentrating issue could not be trivial. People have issue concentrating in studying, in reciting the quran, in remembering Him, in this and that (cant think of any because KR cant concentrate now, fill in the blanks for her thankyou) and the biggest problemo is difficulty concentrating in solat. Even the companions of the prophet were aware of this, and surprise surprise, they too were trying their best to concentrate in solat. But KR can say with certainty, as least khusyuk as they were pon, there was even a companion who got an arrow drawn out of his leg during his solat, because he knew he'd be so absorbed in his solat that he would not feel the pain. Nana nana nana mane comparable to our un-khusyuk-ness. Like heaven and earth. (ohh KR cant think of any of the companions names because of concentration issue again). As far as the topic's concern, it has been discussed since the era of the prophet and his companions, and it's a relief to know KR's not alone in facing the issue. It must be something behind this issue that Allah makes His slaves struggle to achieve it, even the best of his slaves did, did KR not mention? There must be a certain kind of jihad that He wants us to pull through, to declare the true war against the whispers of the satans, to break free from own hawa', as He made us struggle to be khusyu' everyday. To add more pieces to the incomplete jigsaw of this mystery, He made us ask from Him for qalban khosyia' everyday, did He not? Grant me qalban khosyia' o Allah

It's hateful to think about how much effort that have been put in everything that KR's done. Yet, the outcomes that He made KR rejoiced in have never been comparable to her effort. Oh, they could never be. It's despicable to know how KR never tried hard enough. For the thought that He always gives MORE than what KR deserves makes KR feel bad. KR can never NEVER EVER thank him enough. Worse still, KR still demand for this and that, and dream of His magnificent heaven? And He even wants to bestow KR the heaven for exchange of KR's soul, that is HIS?! Owned by HIM!How more zalim can KR be to herself o Lord, o Allah, o the Almighty!!!

KR needs to study! Enough is Allah as your motivation! Ok. InshaAllah. KR wants to thank this wonderful ukhti (who always needed Ronald McDonald as her shoes-shopping advisor) named *** for suddenly memberi semangat untuk belajar. What a perfect timing that was. It surely did pump KR up. Ah well, manusia is manusia. As much as a manusia claims to be occay on her own, no one can live alone without being lonely. No one can go to war alone without someone else reminding, encouraging, and supporting. No one can be semangat sorang-sorang. When they say behind every successful man is a woman, what's there behind a woman? KR onced jokingly said "her spine". Naahh, she has Allah =)

2007-06-09T10:31:00.000+10:00

Assalamualaikum, salam sejahtera kepada yang terbaca

Tengah menelaah pharmacology. Tiba2 hati diruntun sayu...aih mode syahdu la pulak. Ini mesti penangan kempen mengindahkan bahasa dan meluahkan perasaan di AlFurqan (AF).

Fikiran melayang kepada kenangan bersama akhawat. Pada hangatnya ukhuwah, pada suka(r)nya mendaki tangga tarbiyah bersama2, pada dukanya tika meratapi sebahagian besar usia yang terbazir meladeni jahiliyah, pada cecupaknya Hidayah (jangan mare), pada semangatnya Nadia Bubbly, pada seriusnya Hazlin mengetuk2 fikrah ke tempurung keras ini. Juga 1917 yang menjadi saksi, bersesak-sesaknya akhawat dalam kesejukan musim dingin, figura-figura kepompong dalam sleeping bag -5 masing2 hehe.

Juga pada ukiran senyuman2 ikhlas dalam kepenatan bermujahadah (sungguh ku kagumi mujahadahmu akhawati). Pada harumnya ayam goreng humble bersama masak lemak kubis yang sama2 kita kerumuni, sikit sama dibahagi, banyak sama dirasai. Manisnya bersama menghirup tarbiyah, nutrisinya yang kian mematangkan kita, kadang airmata menyiram basah tautan hati2 kita.

Musim dingin ini, hangatnya mungkin takkan ku rasai. Sungguh biarpun Tuhan mengizinkan jasadku di sini, sama2 dah kita fahami, kita takkan dalam Tarago yang sama. Namun dari ekor mata dapatku curi, sesekali hurai tawamu dari Hyundai Accent di hadapan itu, juga sapaan lembutmu saat berhenti mencari IceBreak, juga terkadang duet "sehati sejiwa, dulu kini selamnya" dari Walkie Talkie yang ada yang terpaksa beli bateri sendiri =B. Tapi jaulah itu tetap jaulah kita, yang destinasinya hanya satu.

2007-06-06T08:29:00.000+10:00

Hari 1st swot vacc "okeh kak eni..kite start dgn pharm" "Demi Tuhanmu bertahanlah kak eni!" Pastu die yang tgolek dulu =p

2007-06-03T16:02:00.000+10:00

Banyak sangat yang berputar-putar dalam kepala KR ni sebenarnya. banyak. sangat. Sampai tak termampu nak diekspresikan. Sampai ketika, macam nak burst pun ada. Macam ketika inilah hehe. Mungkin peperiksaan juga ada bahagian peranannya dalam kekacauan jiwa. Tapi tak signifikan sangat lah. Esok bermula perjuangan berbekal mata pena dan handpieces dan bur dan hatchets dan chisel...hentikan kekarutan. Dan KR di sini mengemaskini blog... (berani?!)

KR lebih senang begini. Blog ini sudah dilimitasikan kemasukannya. Sebahagian besarnya kerana keengganan KR melihat kekarutan diulang ziarah. KR tahu ada orang yang ulang ziarahnya ke blog KR agak kerap. Mungkin setiap hari, mungkin lebih lagi. Siapa orangnya juga KR tahu. Itu bukanlah perkembangan yang sihat pada mata KR. Tempat ini tiada apa. KR tak mahu melabur skim dosa lagha. Tempat ini hanyalah hamburan perasaan peribadi. Juga apa yang terjadi sehari-hari. Mungkinkah KR sudah kehilangan prinsipnya? Apa guna menyimpan sesuatu jika tahu tiada berguna? Satu, kerana KR itu perempuan yang perlu isi hatinya dicurahkan. Kadangkala suka aja orang mengetahui (ya perempuan kan suka perhatian), tapi selalunya hanya kerna ingin satu diari. Kalau begitu mengapa di laman worldwide ini?........... Dua, privatisasi nya kerana keperluannya untuk sebahagian sudut diri KR yang jauh (KR sangka) tersorok ini terus tidak terzahir di mata mereka. Mereka yang KR patut tunjuk qudwah dan uswah. Yang tidak perlu lihat kekurangan diri KR. Tak boleh! Mereka tak boleh tahu gelora jiwa kacau KR! Semua manusia ada kelemahan, kenapa perlu hipokrit ya? ............. Kerana KR mahunya untuk membina manusia, membina masyarakat. Apa yang kurang pada KR biarlah di situ untuk KR mencorak dan membinasemula pada pace dan jarak masa yang KR perlukan, tanpa mereka menonton dan menilai. KR perlu pace dan masa itu. Apa yang sudah KR bina biarlah jadi pakaian dan backpack bekalan (yang ringan dan tak seberapa tu) KR untuk permusafiran KR di jalan yang sangat KR mahu lalui sampai hujungnya ini. Pace KR mungkin jauhnya ketinggalan dari mereka (mereka ini yang lain pula), KR tersadung batu, tersungkur, bersila sekejap menghisab diri, ambil masa untuk mengibas2 debu dan bangun semula menghayun kaki. Mungkin tak sama dengan mereka yang tak pernah jatuh, atau kalau jatuh pun tak peduli sakit di lutut tu untuk berdiri tegak semula...

Entah. KR cemburu pada mereka yang sentiasa tinggi zatiyah dan himmahnya. KR boleh terima kenyataan iman itu yazid wa yankus, tapi apa cerita kalau di baseline aja setiap masa? Apa cerita kalau hati dah tak sparkle mendengar makanan ruh? Apa cerita kalau dah tak ada nafsu berkejar2 menyelak helaian kalam Allah? Apa cerita kalau susah benar nak terlintas peringatan2 yang dah lama diasak dalam jiwa? Sungguh benar, benak terseksa. Rasakan penangannya kalau hati jauh dari Pencipta. Yang KR rasa juga, ingin berlari dekati padaNya, tapi tak sampai2. Lagi digapai lagi terkapai. Tiada kawalan. Mungkinkah KR tak cuba? Atau tak cukup mencuba? Tapi, dah KR sampaikan padaNya jeritan batin tu. KR tahu Dia dah dengar. KR tengah tungguh bantuan helikopter penyelamat ala2 nuri askar turun dari langit. Betulkan Hidayah, bila masanya iman melurut2 jatuh, kita akan rindu tikanya iman kita di atas sana. KR suka ingat masa KR kecik2 kat Melbourne ni. Yalah, masa tu semuanya soal hati. Sekarang ni pandai2 nak bela hati sendiri. Banyak sungguh makanan hati masa tu sampai dapat hepatomegaly (tak lawak). Pandai sungguh mereka mengasah2 hati, sampaikan dengar sepotong ayat saja mampu buat KR berjaga berfikir sepanjang malam, sampai azam untuk tadhiyyah mampu KR redah demi mengupas kulit2 jahiliyyah . Teringat bagaimana setiap kali KR dengar lagu Puteriku Sayang-Hijjaz bergelegak azam KR untuk terus mencari jalan Allah dan meninggalkan kehinaan yang telah lama KR sangka wangi. Terpedaya. Mana kekuatan itu sekarang yaa Maliki yau middin? Beri KR peluang sekali lagi. KR nak rasa kemanisan itu lagi. Minta tolong sangat. Kerana niat yang tak benar kah? Atau kemampuan otak KR dah merudum sebab semakin tua? Atau KR dah tepu? Semua di atas??

Minta tolong ya, kalau anda ingin mengatakan "wish saja buat apa KR, usahanya mana" KR ucap terima kasih in advance. Simpan saja niat untuk berkata2 itu ya. Terima kasih. KR rasa dah cukup kena latu, ketuk, gegar. Dah cukup jadi tontonan orang menghakimi dan menilai. Penat. Lunyai. Penat kerana memenuhi harapan manusia. Ya, itu buktinya niat tidak benar kerana Allah. Memang penat kalau kayu ukur dilihat pada manusia. Memang susah kalau diri dibanding dengan manusia. Mereka dengan kemampuan mereka, KR dengan kemampuan kamulah KR! Laa yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha. Tapi KR cemburu dengan panjangnya kaki mereka, kayanya mereka dengan masa, ikhlasnya perjuangan mereka, tingginya mujahadah mereka, karibnya mereka dengan tanggungjawab mereka, khusuknya mereka. KR??? Banyak benda dah Allah tarik privilege nya sebab dari perbuatan tangan KR sendiri. Mungkin ini salah satu sebabnya anak2 KR pun banyak masalah juga...udah emaknya polkadot (tak lawak lagi) .................

Bercakap pasal Malaysia. KR excited mula2. Teringat mak ayah, adik2, kucing2, kampungku yang permai, kuey teow kerang. Tertipu juga mula2. Terbabas juga niat. Alhamdulillah Dia masih sayang, bagi peluang KR betulkan sebelum terlambat. Taknak berehat2 jadi kentang kerusi. KR nak timba apa yang patut, sementara ada peluang sebentar di medan itu. Moga tak beku di mulut saja. Ini sebab semalam call rumah dan bercakap dengan Eshah lah. Kecewa dengan ketidakcerdikan orang2 di rumah. Terus terang. Bukan cerdik sampai boleh masuk uni. Bukan cerdik yang boleh berdebat2 berhujah tu. Bukan yang tu. Cerdik dalam melayari bahtera kehidupan. Hidup ni Allah bagi sekali je. Buatlah yang terbaik. Jangan merugikan diri sendiri! Si Iwan dengan komputer, games, movies, duduk dalam bilik tak keluar2. Sibuk dengan hal girlfriend baru yang tak tahulah dah couple ke, tengah berteka-teki ke, tengah mengejar ke tuh. Si Eshah pun sama je. Nak kahwin mak tak bagi. Panjang la lagi peluang bercouple nye. Yang kakak die tanak kahwin (lagi) mak dah bising2 nak cari calon, apa cerita. Mak? Ayah? Masih cerita sama. Rumah bukan lagi kondusif untuk mencari ketenangan. Inikah tanda2 hint2nya tanggungjawab yang menanti KR bila balik mesia nanti? Berat sangat tu. Macamana? Macamana nak balik rumah dengan gaya penampilan thiqah ni?

Esok exam prac conservative dentistry. Eh yeke. Slalunye panggil cons aje...tak sure la conservative ke constructive ke ape. Yang pasti kene buat filling lah. Kami semua yakin soalan mesio-occlusal-distal (MOD) amalgam restoration with cuspal reduction akan keluar. KR antara yakin dengan tidak. MOD tuh dah buat banyak kali. Tapi komen demonstrator selalunye same aje. Mesial prep and distal prep are too large. Lepas tu prep walls dont have undercuts. KR bertekad akan membuat proximal preps yang lebih kecik setelah membaca semula notes tahun lepas. Pastikan extension from occlusal. Pastikan guna pear shaped burs untuk dapatkan undercuts. Cuspal reduction tak tahulah nak risau ke tak. Yang pasti kene betul2 pastikan reduced. Amalgam filling, pastikan packing dengan pantas dan padat. Overfill! Carving KR dah semakin maju setelah mendapat personal tutorial dari Charlie. Alhamdulillah hehe. Tak perfect. Tapi looking good ^_^. Semoga tangan dilembutkan Allah esok untuk carve dengan betul. Masalah bile nak rebuild the reduced cusp aje. Aishh...cabaran terbesar. Selalunye cons prac exam tak hurdle, tapi tak sure pulak kali ni. Kalau hurdle confirm KR tak berada di sini harini =(. KR, Allah dan Prof Burrow je tahu betapa buroknya MOD KR untuk exam end of year tahun lepas. Patah semangat lepas balik exam tu. Heh dah lepas...abaikan. Okay, patut kembali menjawab soalan2 tahun lepas untuk Dental Practice 3 written exam. Betul2 belajar tahu!!

2007-05-18T21:11:00.000+10:00

Sehingga qiam jadi ubat kelelahan
Sehingga sebaik-baik amal cernaannya dalam tiap langkahan
Sehingga hanya redhaNya satu-satu harapan

2007-04-25T10:40:00.000+10:00

Women are like Melbourne's wheather, that's how the saying goes. Even Melbourne has not the slightest idea of what's coming next. And Melbourne doesnt fancy gloomy winter either ^_^. Stepping aside is possible, but we could never avoid the turmoil.

We wish life was easy. We dont want troubles, misery and problems to cope with. We wish there were us, Him and a space, and u do nothing but to prostrate, and cry and pray, and glorify and praise, and devote to no other but Him. That is the case, my dear souls if he meant to create u from nur. That's when your job is but worshiping Him from the moment you were created until the end of the day. And that becomes the reason why the angels are not to be judged on THAT day of judgement. They dont have to struggle, they are not going to get the reward for struggle. We go through the end of semester test, and we get the results, then we move further to the next stage of the course, does it makes sense? We dont undergo test for no purpose do we?

Step those feet on the ground. We are MADE to struggle! "O mankind, indeed you are laboring toward your Lord with great exertion and will meet it" 84:6. That's simply what life is. Be it a king, a baroness ^_^ a dental student, a tram evader, a housewife, do tell me, who does not struggle for life...? Who'd ever say his life's easier than anyone else? HE makes us struggle so that we can say we live the life. And darlings, He gives you the choice what to struggle for. "and inspired it with (paths of) wickedness and righteousness" 91:8 An AF 'undergrad' struggles to make it through every week, to be accepted, to become famous, to win. A Melb Uni undergrad struggles to juggle between studies and never-ending 'sittings' everyweek, to do daawa, to retain the ukhuwah, to end a husnul khotimah in this competition towards Allah. Let us not become Mr Iblis the Laknatullah who struggle to divert the mankind till the end of the day all throughout his life, and to end up nowhere but in the pits of the most horrible hell.

How the rabbit-est KR herself wished she could do nothing but do ibadah and dissociate herself from the inexplicably harsh world and live her idea of happy life. Isnt that a simply time-energy wasting thought?

2007-04-22T15:37:00.000+10:00

~
Sapu away all the sawang while waiting for serimuka's top to harden~
Autumn break sudah berlalu, minggu pertama sekolah juga sudah berlalu. Phewwww terlalu banyak yang berlaku. KR baru sahaja melalui 2 test yang dengan jayanya dianggap 10% oleh KR yang rabbit itu. Sayang sekali, cubaan tersasar, pagi sebelum test Pharmaco dia mendapat tahu test itu bernilai sebanyak 40%. KR terpaksa membuat muka selamba. Apatah lagi, pagi itu die mempunyai kelas yang penuh sehingga test bermula pada tengahari. Oh...CDH seminar, kenapa perlu muncul pada saat2 sebegini. Selepas test KR menerima soalan2 tipikal dari rakan2 sekelas, dia lantas menjawab "oh saya berasa gembira meneka jawapan2 semasa test itu tadi." Geram jugak KR,kenapa soalan2 itu begitu susah...Tak baik tuduh KR tak belajar (tut tut tut..sebahagian besar zhon itu adalah dosa...) Kesalahan terletak kepada KR yang suka memakan megi (bukan Maggi tau) yang membawa kemusnahan neuron2 berguna untuk daya ingatan... (Mengapa degil sangat...salah satu muwasofat tau untuk meninggalkan makanan yang memudaratkan!!)

Baik..2 test berlalu, termasuk 1 presentation. Ini sungguh memakan masa KR demi preparation yang perlu dilakukan. Sedangkan presentation tak sampai 30minit aje. Tak ape, yang penting usaha tu. (ye...baik). Minggu yang diakhiri dengan Jumaat yang penuh, klinik 3jam di sebelah petangnya, diikuti dengan 'baby-sitting' (he he) di sebelah malam. Hoho. Sebaik habis baby-sitting KR terkorban di atas quilt fiza (mungkin nama sebenar) seperti sayur bak-choy yang dikukus. KR lega juga kerana hari seterusnya dicaj semula dengan aktiviti yang jarang sekali (tak pernah utk tahun ni?) diadakan. Oh alhamdulillah...KR boleh bernafas semula. Walaupun KR tak kurang syahidnya semasa mama-King memberi berpatah2 kata, aktiviti haiya alad-dockland ditemani double furqan (satu lagi di tangan masing2 =)) sangat memberi nafas baru. Sejuk angin pagi dengan hujan yang sekali sekala merintik, somehow memberi ruang tersendiri eksklusif dari dunia yang berputar sangat laju di sekeliling KR. Escape sekejap aje tapi sangat bermakna.Oh..KR sangat suka. KR sayang antunna!!!

Dan untuk self-declared daurah study weekend ini, KR tidak ingin memandang langsung kepada sebarang gigi. Mereka ini tiada kehidupankah? Bukan semua dalam dunia ini adalah tentang gigi. Syukurlah KR ada kehidupan yang lebih bermakna dan lebih besar skopnya. Memandang kepada kehidupan yang nanti akan kekal selama2nya... Dan KR berjaya melakukan aktiviti2 pembacaan yang lama KR tinggalkan lantaran faktor masa yang menghimpit (rindunye). Dan KR membaca dan baca dan baca. Ambil peluang puas2. Masa ini mungkin tidak akan datang lagi. Dan KR baca buku ini---> Obat Lemahnya Iman. (puas jugak kene bash) Nak dengar sikit? Here:

Fenomena lemah iman no5- Dada yang terasa sesak, prubahan perangai dan tabiat yang terbelenggu, sehingga seakan2 marasakan beban berat menghimpitnya. Sehingga dia cepat mnjadi nervous dan gelisah kerana masalah yg remeh sahaja, merasakan sumpeg(?) kerana tingkah laku orang yg disekitarnya., dan kelapangan hati mnjadi sirna. Hadith Rasulullah: "Iman itu ialah kesabaran dan kelapngan hati".

Membaca satu terapi. Satu tempat melarikan diri. Satu alasan untuk bersendiri. Tiada sebab untuk membuka mulut yang selalu menyakiti orang. Tiada sebab untuk melakukan pergerakan yang mungkin mengundang dosa. Jadi alasan untuk tidak memikirkan perkara2 yg muncul dan timbul dengan rapid tanpa belas kasihan. Jadi alasan untuk terlupa perkara2 yang tidak mampu lagi di-settle-kan. Hanya ada buku dalam tangan untuk dijelajah semahunya. Tapi tak boleh buat selalu, kalau melarat, sapa pula nak laksanakan tanggujawab2 yang lain itu?

Kalau2 ada orang bertanya (ini untuk mnjawab pertanyaan anda cik MD/McD), trial dentures pakcik itu berjaya KR siapkan petang sebelum KR berjumpanya keesokan paginya. KR sangat bersyukur jugak sebab kadar masa yang diambil untuk trial dentures itu ditandatangan oleh lab technian adalah pantas (hurmmm...sejak bila mereka berlembut dgn KR ni?). KR masuk ke klinik keesokan harinya (dan pakcik itu moodnya cerah) namun mendapati segala macam benda adalah salah. Sehingga Dr Bowman mengeluarkan pernyataan "saya tidak tahu bagaimana awak dapat ini ditandatangan". KR manalah dapat melihat kesilapan itu sebelum masuk klinik. Tak ada pengalaman occay. Tak hairanlah trial dentures itu cepat sahaja mendapat pengesahan! Dan kini KR kene set-semula (re-setup). KR tidaklah kecewa. KR tahu je ini besar kemungkinan akan berlaku kerana KR tahu cubaan pertama takkan sempurna. Tak apa, KR akan re-setup, tapi minggu depanlah sebab KR dah penat sangat dengan pergigian minggu lepas hoho. "kadangkala anda akan sahaja sakit dengan ia" kata Sadika (sometimes u just get sick of it). KR gembira sahaja untuk re-setup. Pakcik garang juga tidak garang lagi. Dia sangat gembira bersembang2 dengan KR tentang apa sahaja di bawah matahari. Ada sesuatu yang manis, isterinya ada membakar kek buah-buahan untuk KR, tetapi pakcik itu terlupa membawanya. Kek itu telah pun siap dibungkus oleh makcik itu. Ohh... KR sangat terharu. Tahu tak makcik itu baru menjalani pembedahan tulang belakang 2-3minggu yang lalu dan sebenarnya masih lemah dan tak dapat berjalan sangat? Allah tetap akan memberi pahala kepada makcik dan pakcik itu inshaAllah

KR nak teruskan membaca sambil itu pengisian fizikal pun ada juga ^_^ ~oh it wont harden KR doesnt know what went wrong. Heaps of eggs and flour thrown in already. just scoop it out ajelah housemates~

2007-04-08T18:03:00.000+10:00

KECEWA DENGAN FITNAH. 'nuff said

2007-03-22T10:02:00.000+11:00

HE INDEED IS THE BEST OF ALL PLANNER

Mon, Tue, KR was freaking out for not getting the registration rims done yet, and the clinic session was supposed to be Wed morning 9am. Couldnt go to the lab on Tue morning, thanks to CDH session with the first years. Still got the afternoon, okeh relax relax. Meant to finish the upper and lower rims in the 3-hours session. A bit too far-fetched huh? Well angels do sometimes come down and give a hand (uihh positive positive). Ewing was apparently making it difficult for KR. "why cant u make the anterior 6mm? i told u it was 6mm! this is too thin" when Greg just took away some wax from THAT particular area. And Ron effectively smoothed the sulci-extension, rendering it short for 2-3mm. And Greg looked at KR with disbelieve. KR knew it was short, but wasnt it Ron who made it short? KR was close to tears at one point. It was 5pm, and the lab was closing, and the upper rim was still not good enough to be used on patient, and KR hasnt even started on the lower. And KR has just confirmed the appointment with the garang pakcik for the next morning! Planned to stay until 6, and Ron again effectively came in and told the 3rd years off. Fair enough. Gotta cancel the appointment. So KR called the pakcik at 6 o'clock and cancelled. Alhamdulillah he was okay with it. KR was upset the whole evening. TURNED OUT the following morning (well this is the twist bit of the story) that the jaw-registration demonstration in the clinic took Dr Bowman a good 1 and a half hour. The colleagues were already restless, their patients waiting outside for what was to be 9am appointment, and Dr Bowman was taking his time. Well, there was a lot to go through tho, wasnt anyone's fault. At that point, KR knew it! She had the answer to why Allah didnt want her to finish the reg rims and get the patient that morning. Besides the -learning-the-hard-way-and-know-it-by-heart reason, KR knew the pakcik garang must have been soo upset and all angry should he had to wait for the 1 and a half hour demonstration before KR could get to him and do something. Again, all praise is due to Allah =).

And this morning, KR just decided just after the fajr prayer not to attend the 8 o'clock lecture because she was all penat and needed a break (kepada kanak2 out there, dont try this at home). She knew she was gonna miss a lot, it was Dr Wong's ortho lecture! Tapikan what could be more tempting than the fluffy wool quilt when the body really really needs a rest? At 8 she opened the uni mail that she didnt have time to last night and here's the announcement from the coordinator:

Dear All,

Dr Wong's wife has just gone into labour, so he will not be able to give his lecture
tomorrow at 8am. 

If you have any colleagues who do not routinely read their emails, please inform them

We will reschedule the lecture at another time

David Manton





Did KR not mention that HE INDEED IS THE BEST PLANNER??

2007-03-19T22:18:00.000+11:00

Daripada jabir r.a Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda
"Sesungguhnya orang yang paling aku sukai dan paling hampir kedudukan denganku pada hari kiamat ialah orang yang paling baik akhlaknya di kalangan kamu. Dan sesungguhnya orang yang paling aku marah dan paling jauh daripadaku di kalangan kamu pada hari kiamat ialah at-tsartsarun (orang yang banyak cakap secara berlebihan), al-Mutasyaddiqun (orang yang bermulut lancang kepada orang lain) dan orang yang memenuhkan mulutnya dengan percakapan" Mereka berkata "wahai Rasulullah, kami tahu orang yang banyak cakap dan orang yang bermulut lancang terhadap orang lain. Apakah maksud orang yang memenuhkan mulutnya dengan percakapan? baginda menjawab, "orang yang takabbur". Riwayat at-tarmizi

This is KR reminding herself in case she forgot

2007-03-18T08:33:00.000+11:00

Sad and broken hearted KR (omiGod)

Hidup ini untuk apa? Untuk diri sendirikah? Milik siapa? Kamukah yang memberi nyawa pada jasad kamu? Atau kepunyaan Allah? Bukankah apa yang kamu nampak pada diri kamu itu hanyalah PINJAMAN? Selalu dengar bukan? Has it ever sunken down? Lihat pada tangan kamu sekarang. Kulit yang cantik halus dan bersih, jari-jemari yang comey yang kamu rasa lebih indah kalau dihiasi cincin berlian permata (urghhh my malay writing skills dah busuk). Kamu bangga dengan jari-jemari itu. Lihat ke dalam cermin pulak. Sukanya merenung mata, hidung, bibir kamu sendiri, kombinasi sempurna, apalagi kulitmu halus dan creamy. Kamu bangga dengan kecantikanmu. Realiti; apakah usaha kamu mencantikkan letak duduknya hidung, kedua matamu yang tidak begitu besar,tidak achingly sepet itu? Bukankah kamu DILAHIRKAN dengan rupa sebegitu? Sedarkah kamu Allah yang memberikan paras rupamu itu? Sedarkah kamu wajahmu itu milik Allah? Tanganmu, tubuhmu, DIRIMU milik Allah semata-mata? Kenapa begitu susah untuk hidup ini didedikasi kepada Allah? Tubuh yang Dia pinjamkan kepada kamu itu, wajarkah kegunannya pada jalan sesuka nafsumu?? Seorang sahabat meminjamkan bajunya kepada kamu, katanya baju itu gunanya pakai di badan. Kamu fikir, mungkin tidak, lebih seronok rasanya kalau pakai di kaki, jadilah skirt fesyen baru. Beranikah kamu? Apa nak jawab dengan sahabat itu nanti bila bajunya minta dipulangkan. Bagaimana nak terangkan stretch mark di sana sini, mungkin terkoyak kerana kamu sengaja tidak menggunakan baju itu dengan cara yang betul? Apa kamu nak jawab di depan Allah kelak bila Dia menyoal kembali, apa yang telah kamu buat dengan tangan kamu, matamu, kakimu, batang tubuhmu, hatimu, jiwamu, pemikiranmu? "Saya suka nak lepak-lepak atas bean bag saya, di depan tv tonton Kuch-kuch Hota Hai itu. Sukahati sayalah" Beranikahh? Beranikah???!!

Tak ramai juga orang islam yang sedar,masanya juga milik Allah. Susah sangatkah nak gunakan masa itu untuk Allah? Untuk pergi ke majlis bacaan yasin dan tazkirah yang mungkin mengambil tempoh ~2jam, kamu rasa kamu sudah cukup berkorban. "Okay la tu, dah banyak dah, sekarang masa untuk aku. Diri aku! Aku nak balik rumah, nak duduk depan laptop, update blog aku, bukak kawan-ster, tengok fotopages kawan-kawan aku kat UK, Ire, OZ, NZ, Russia, India, Zimbabwe, Burkina Faso... Masa aku sangat berharga okay!!" Bila sahabat-sahabat fisabi...(dot dot dot..tak tahulah, fill in the blank ikut kreativiti) kamu mengajak ke DFO Essendon sambil boleh berborak-borak, tonton wayang dan minum mocha ice blended Coffee Bean, kamu tak rasa pulak sahabat-sahabat itu mencuri masa kamu?? Apa kredit akhirat yang kawan-kawan kamu tu bagi sepanjang tempoh kamu berlepak-lepakan dan meng-vain-kan diri di DFO Essendon itu? "perlukah bercakap pasal akhirat? aku sekarang hidup kat dunia tau" Hai,mengapa pulak, bukankah hidup kita ini menuju akhirat? 84:6. Bukankah akhirat itu sahaja yang membawa makna? Bukankah hidup di akhirat itu yang selama-lamanya?

There's one lesson for KR though. If you do something because of men, because you want people to see you, you sure is dissapointed. If you do something because of Allah, it doesnt matter what people say, nak tunjuk baik ke, struggle nak jadi baik ke, Allah knows what you do. Alhamdulillah kalau struggle nak jadi baik, kalau struggle nak ke neraka? Allahua'lam.

Inspired, though not dedicated to anyone in particular. Pardon the vulgarity.

2007-03-16T11:18:00.000+11:00

Besnye...when life is being harsh...and you take a break to prostrate...and there you find the promising serenity...when the thought of Him somehow carresess your soul...and you know He has been with you all along...watching, guiding, supporting, approving...simply because you're doing what He wants you to do...nestling in the warmth of the embrace you forever want to be in =)

2007-03-12T15:28:00.000+11:00

When you start to stutter..and your brain goes clueless...and no apt thought seems to flow to your lips to dampen the dryness before you...its time to do iman screening! What have you looked at, what have you said, what did your heart jolt about, to whom your smile was subconsciously thrown to, what sins were done...however small and insignificant to your judgement. What about the relationship..with Him? Have you been wandering in your solat or you didnt even care to answer his call for qiam at all? Ponder, and it will ring a bell...(huhuuu)

Remember the story about Mr Difficult Patient or so KR thought he was gonna be? He wasnt bad at all!! Alhamdulillah! KR just lovvvve dealing with muslims here in OZ..they DO treat you as your brother/sister, with some minor exceptions of course. He apparently was so glad that the one's treating him was a muslim. He even asked if there was any secret in KR getting a muslim patient (because KR's a muslim herself). Of course not, we didnt get to choose who we want the patients to be. It's random allocation. In the beginning, KR was struggling of how to build rapport with this pakcik considering the (suu) dzon predeterminely plastered about the pakcik in KR's head. Hihi..turned out to be so easy...see...he's originally from Lebanon...so...?? Talk about what's happening in Lebanon, and current muslim world situation lah you fool KR! Of course that broke the ice. KR opened one issue...and he went on elaborating about it. Asked how many kids he had, and he went on sampai his grandkids' stories, and his daughter's $600 000 new house. Guess why he was so angry with the hospital? He broke his lower denture some good 2months ago, and was expecting the problem to be fixed asap, for apparent reason, he couldnt eat solid food. Hish..sape pon boleh hilang sabar macam tu. And KR perfectly understands why. Show the empathy, and the patient would trust you.

That's one pleasant story. What's not pleasant is about KR's other (gp) patient. Grrr...he's surely is over the line. When KR is being friendly and all mesra alam, that doesnt mean she's happy to discuss her personal life with the patient. When the patient started the 'what if' conversation, KR knew he wasnt up to any good. "what if you wanna marry an australian" "im not gonna marry an australian" "what if you wanna marry an italian (when he himself was an italian)" "even worse..im not gonna consider italian". For God's sake! KR wasnt going to spill about her personal life on the dental chair! apekah? And KR wasnt ashame to sternly tell him to shut up. "stop talking and let me do my work". KR was struggling to scale clean his teeth, and he was struggling to bersembang. Once KR caught him fixing his eyes on her when she was washing her hands before popping the gloves on (which could take a couple of minutes to be done). (KR knows her friends sometimes told her that she's perasan that people are staring at her hehh) But this time it really was irritating. Occay, KR didnt know what he was thinking about, maybe about his life, or his car that was parked downstairs, or just simply trying to figure out what's gonna be with KR's future. Fair enough. But it is not KR to let men to stare at her (and be proud about it?). KR wears this tablecloth-like hijab and this unattratctive long, loose, baggy clothes (which protectively covers hehh)for reason. He obviously wasnt respecting KR. KR could only pray to Allah to preserve her chastity and pride."dont look at me like that" KR snapped the order. Yes. An order. He couldnt be more sorry. (oitt kalo demonstrator dengar confirm kene mark down) When KR declined the invitation for dinner, he brought it down to coffee, and at that point he surely was wayyy across the line! Nak tukar patient bole takkkkk. KR strictly didnt smile a twitch or looking at him unneccessarily after removing the face mask to schedule for another appointment...yessy messy..another appointment =(

How KR wished that she wasnt in that situation to be having to deal with people, especially men. How impossible. Yes, that's one of the reasons why some scholars dont advocate muslimah to work. KR seconds that! But now how leh? KR just have to go through this in order to complete the BDSc, and what comes after that is yet to be decided. Perhaps, open up a private practice specifically for women is surely an option..hehh... KR really really really loves this job, giving up is not on top of the list =(

2007-02-28T22:01:00.000+11:00

Up to the nose. Up to the nose. Tut tut too bad. Today was 8-5, lecture, clinic, ran up to 3rd floor lab to pour cast, lecture, ran down Grattan St to Courtney to grab the 'missing' file, ran to Union House for lunch, finally arrived in prayer room having 15mins to dig into the lamb curry, rushed for Pros lab, 430 finished. This certainly is blowing KR up. How is KR gonna live with this for 3 more years? And it's practically 8-5 everyday with some gaps in the middle in some rare days which seem to come up once in 3weeks or something. Worse still, Monday's one early morning lecture is in Dental Hosp, the next one in Med Building, Dent again, Med again then Dent back again. Cemane tu? Does this sound like whining? Pardon me O Lord, for this mental and physical challenge is truly testing the patience. And KR knows that You burden not a soul beyond his/her limit. If this is the test that KR has to undergo to bring this soul closer to You, to attain the ultimate pleasure, what a small price there is to pay. Bless this soul o Lord

p/s so many interesting things happen in the clinic and the lab and the practicals; which pay for the exhaustion and all the long days and hard work. Another bless. See how He draws it all up beauuuutifully? Alhamdulillah.

2007-02-25T14:29:00.000+11:00

KR juga nak update dengan a new entry =)

Now that the reality has sunk in, it is hard to be accepted. Before, it felt like nothing was going to happen. And now, it feels like a whole lot of things have happened.

Kenapa KR perlu bersedih? Amazing what 2 years could do to an ukhuwwah. Maha Suci Allah yang mengikat hati-hati ini. Maha Suci Allah, hanya Dia sahajalah yang melakukan semua itu. Hatta kamu belanjakan seluruh isi muka bumi, kamu tidak akan dapat menyatukan hati-hati mereka, tetapi Allah jualah yang menyatukan hati-hati mereka (rephrased from 8:63).

Sedikit excerpt kisah Abu Bakr as Siddiq, khalifah kedua selepas Rasulullah. Betapa besar jasa beliau dalam meneruskan kesinambungan pemerintahan Rasulullah di negara islam pertama, Madinah. Abu Bakr memerangi dan menghapuskan golongan murtad (yang menjadi-jadi selepas kewafatan Rasulullah saw), terutama Musailamah al Kazzab si pendusta yang mengaku dirinya sebagai nabi. Muncul juga golongan yang beramai-ramai enggan membayar zakat kerana kononnya Rasul telah wafat to be paid zakah to. Dalam pandangan dan penilaian mungkin sebahagian besar daripada kita, what's so big kalau orang taknak bayar zakat? (mungkin sebab zaman sekarang pun memang berlambak orang macam tu). Tapi dari penilaian Abu Bakr, golongan ini hanya layak dihukum bunuh, so much to Umar's disagreement. (hey isnt that sooo contradictory to Umar's nature yang sikit-sikit main pancung aje?) Itulah dia Abu Bakr as Siddiq, dalam kelembutan, mata hatinya tetap tajam (with umpteen wisdom and meticulousness masyaallah) dalam menilai hakikat sesuatu. Hakikatnya, mereka yang taknak bayar zakat ni, masalahnya bukanlah di situ saja, tapi itu adalah satu indikasi terbesar kegoyahan keimanan terhadap islam dan kesetiaan kepada kekhalifahan. Besarnya jasa-jasa Abu Bakr dalam pemerintahannya 2 tahun itu, sedikit pun tidak terjejas dengan keadaan emosi beliau yang sangat-sangat parah kerana kehilangan rasulullah saw, rasul, kekasih dan sahabat karibnya. Malah ada riwayat yang mengatakan kemangkatan Abu Bakr adalah disebabkan sakit rindu yang tidak tertanggung terhadap Rasulullah. Allahua'lam. (if you can read between the lines)

Only that KR's companion isnt Rasulullah. Moralnya, masalah emosi tidak sepatutnya menjadi 'masalah' though sejarah telah berjaya membuktikan KR tidaklah begitu well-to-do dalam menangani emosi, terutama kisah kehilangan. Ada kehilangan yang mengambil masa bertahun to get over with. Kali ini, Allah lebih mengetahui akan berapa lama. It is not in KR nature untuk meminta sesuatu yang tidak praktikal apatah lagi demi kepentingan individu (yours truly). KR redhakan pemergian kerana tahu itulah yang terbaik untuknya, dan kerana tanah itu lebih memerlukannya. Memang benar, jika betul inginkan kebaikan buat seseorang yang disayangi itu, bukanlah dengan 'menyimpannya di sebelah' untuk kita sorang, tapi doakanlah kebaikan untuknya dunia dan akhirat. Kini ia lebih jelas kepada KR erti 'berjumpa di syurga' kerana hanya di situlah tempat bertemu yang terbaik, paling indah, dan inshaAllah buat selama-lamanya. Indahnya kehidupan di situ, duduk di adorned couches, diredupi tanpa burning heat atau freezing coldness, minum dari clear crystal goblets, bersembang sesama mereka tanpa ada bicara lagha. (pardon the rojak-ness).

InshaAllah, kerana realiti itu telah reda, KR mengerti ini mungkin muntalaq untuk KR lebih bermujahadah dengan segala kudrat yang ada, semoga lebih matang dalam dakwah (ohh its cruuucial), mungkin tiada lagi peristiwa bercurhat di tempat-tempat paling spontan dan pelik, namun itulah pukulan dari Allah bahawa tempat bergantung dan sumber kekuatan hanyalah dariNya. Ini jugalah gegaran dariNya bahawa dakwah ini bukan asbabnya manusia, tidak kira siapa pun di sekeliling kita, zatiyah dan mujahadahnya patut sama sahaja.

~Biar berlinangan air mata, ku takkan hentikannya~

~Doa KR, semoga amal kita sama-sama diterimaNya, semoga kita terus tsabat di jalanNya dan semoga Allah benar-benar menemukan kita di syurgaNya nanti kerana saat itu sentiasa dinanti. Jazakillah khair atas segalanya, segala tunjuk ajar, kerana mengenalkan KR kepada cinta sejati. Semoga segala kebaikan yang pernah dicurahkan menjadi amal di sisiNya inshaAllah. Tsabbit qulubana yaa Rabb~

Though some people might be exeggeratingly expressive, and some people might not, KR is quite sure that those un-expressive souls might have more things to say than this. We love you fillah

Lagu yang pernah di-dedicate kpd KR, ingin KR dedicate back. Sebuah Pertemuan

Ketika diri mencari sinar
Secebis cahaya menerangi laluan
Ada kalanya langkahku tersasar
Tersungkur di lembah kegelapan

Bagaikan terdengar bisikan rindu
Mengalun kalimah menyapa keinsafan
Kehadiranmu menyentuh kalbu
Menyalakan obor pengharapan

Tika ku kealpaan
Kau bisikkan bicara keinsafan
Kau beri kekuatan, tika aku
Diuji dengan dugaan
Saat ku kehilangan keyakinan
Kau nyalakan harapan
Saat ku meragukan keampunan Tuhan
Kau katakan rahmat-Nya mengatasi segala

(*) Menitis airmataku keharuan
Kepada sebuah pertemuan
Kehadiranmu mendamaikan
Hati yang dahulu keresahan

Cinta yang semakin kesamaran
Kau gilap cahaya kebahagiaan
Tulus keikhlasan menjadi ikatan
Dengan restu kasih-Mu, oh Tuhan

Syukur sungguh di hati ini
Dikurniakan teman sejati
Menunjuk jalan dekati-Nya
Tika diri dalam kebuntuan

Betapa aku menghargai
Kejujuran yang kau beri
Mengajarku mengenal erti
Cinta hakiki yang abadi

Tiada yang menjadi impian
Selain rahmat kasih-Mu Tuhan
Yang terbias pada ketulusan
Sekeping hati seorang insan
Bernama teman

2007-02-19T21:39:00.000+11:00

So we talked. And the conclusion is, thoughts are to be recorded. Some way or another. And here it is.

Its the 3rd week of school. Didnt really went as smooth as one might have hoped. Neither was as wanted by KR. Missed important Prosthodontic lectures on the 1st and 2nd week. For 2 consecutive weeks, and never learnt from mistake. How great. And came late for Pros lab sweating, panting and busuk, only to be stared at by the tutoring demonstrator, which drew the entire class's attention and eyes. Even greater. Not to mention the rusty english making the KR stumbling upon words, taking 20 good minutes just to construct a phrase.

Minus that, school's fun. We're doing removable pros now (that's full dentures lah). We had Local Anaesthetic session which allowed for awesome opportunities jabbing each other's mouth. Fun time!. KR wanted to pair up with this girl she always paired up with, but she ran to other group for obvious reason; she didnt trust KR with the jabbing. So, having no other choices, KR went to pair up with this guy instead. Not so fun time. KR was a difficult patient. The operator had to remind her to relax her tongue all the time. KR knew he wouldnt be able to see the anatomical structure (the pterygomandibular raphe specifically =p) in the mouth if the tongue was in the way. What to do, that wasnt purposely done to make things difficult for the operator. And the KR asked the operator to change the gloves as soon as he done with one examination. He went "what??? and i'd have to wash my hand again??". Yes. KR was geli with her own saliva. Isnt that called reflex which is innate and so it is perfectly normal? (no it isnt) Oh yes, the LA session went well and KR managed to unjustified the other girl's doubt when she managed to inflict minimal pain on her patient. Glory be to Allah who was making things smooth for her at that time and all the time. Alhamdulillah.

And today KR decided to pay the ticket she got for parking offence done last week. What a test. She never knew that parking space in Barkly Square was to be paid for, and she never did, and there wasnt even a single sign saying it was a paid parking space, and on that one fine day, she was ticketed. Occay, itu tidak mengapa. So today she went to make the money order for $** and bought a paid envelope, slipped the money order and the ticket in, sealed the envelope, wrote own's name and address on the back and woooooshh down the red post box. Guess what was missing? The receiver's address? Clever. The KR then went back in the post shop to ask if she could get the envelope back. The lady inside said they didnt have the key for the red box, and so KR had to wait for pakcik Aust Post who would come to collect the surats instead. Okay, there was still a way. So there she waited, sitting down where no one's ever opted to sit at, pretending to read a book, making as normal a face as possible. So the pakcik came after 45minutes. The KR explained everything and he tried to look for the envelope. He shouldnt be doing that, he said. Its against the law. "but please, the whole thing cost me $**". He tried looking for the envelope which shoudnt be too deep in, to no avail. "so uve got your name on the back? it will come back to you in a few days". So there was another way, but if it was to be paid after 14days, it would be $** plus $## instead. Haihh mencabar...mencabar.

That's one thing. And then KR decided to call her patients up pulak today to book for appointment. Mr FC, was easy. He's been seeing KR last semester, and he was nice as always, pleased to hear KR's voice and to be called for another appointment. Then came Mr. AA which was a muslim. KR was glad at first to have a muslim as a patient. KR said salam and everything when a lady picked up the phone and she pretended to be Mr. AA (apekah motifnya???). But it was obvious that Mr. AA was a male, and KR insisted on speaking to the tuan punya badan. So she passed the phone to Mr. AA only for KR to be bombarded with his machine-gun-like words a split second later (ooooh angry patient ^_^). KR had to hold the receiver a few inches from the ear because she was scared with his voice. Mr. AA has been waiting for more than 6weeks for this call, for 6 weeks was what promised by someone from the hospital for him to be called up. And when KR said that she'd be able to make an appointment in a few weeks time, he went "A FEW WEEKS??!!". "or in 2 weeks" KR rephrased. Phewww... KR didnt take it hard. It's dealing with human, this job is. Neither was that expected nor did it surprise KR. He's just a grumpy old man. He'd probably like KR once he met her, inshaAllah. But that tells KR that she's gonna be dealing most likely with a difficult patient. Oooh a pleasant challenge huh?? So, a take-home message for you; do be patient with patients.

School's only been 2 weeks plus 1 day. It was so hectic (only that it wasnt ONLY because of the school =) ) that KR had to run and rush here and there, sometimes even too busy for lunch resulting in a few kilos weight loss (which is highly desirable bukanke? =p). Lets wait for the 'real' semester time (starting from next week) which gonna bring with it 5 or so other subjects. Hehh lets see how KR is gonna deal with it.

So that's bits and pieces of KR's life recently. Now comes the moral-of-the-story part =p. That's what written for KR and what has happened could never be better than what could have happened. KR's just perfectly happy with what was and is going on in her life for every incident; pleasant or bitter is something for KR to think about. They shouldnt be resented at, instead should have brought KR to think of The Creator who laid everything down for her only as a test and opportunity for her to gain rewards and more rewards inshaAllah. And may Allah redha (hey what's the english word for it?) with keredhaan KR, KR's praying to Him. And (kenapela budak ni suka sgt mula sentence dgn 'and')it just feels good for KR to share her life experience (which can be bizarre, intriguing and surprisingly weird all at the same time) and let's together learn from it. Here's what He said in His book about ulul albab (translated as org2 yg berfikir) in the 3rd surah

190. Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding.
191. Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], "Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire.

*removed* gee..how much fitnah it has harboured and may promote in the future. sudah. jgn mengada. no explanation will be provided. just the removal

pen off

2007-01-30T23:14:00.000+11:00

~copied from a mail~ Dgn Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani

YaAllah, lancar jari ini menaipkan sebuah pengalaman yg amat berharga dr seorang insan yg di pilih Allah utk berjumpa Nabi SallaLahualaihiwasa llam melalui mimpi hari Khamis, 16 Rejab 1427 H bersamaan 10 August, 2006. Nama yg dipilih oleh ayah beliau Syamimi yg bermaksud kesayanganku, gelar Nabi pada puteri kesayangan Baginda, Fatimah. Ketika khilaf memilih nama itu, ayah beliau mengharapkan mudah-mudahan suatu hari nanti anaknya akan menjadi salah seorang mutiara kesayangan RasuluLlah SallaLahualaihiwasa llam. AlhamduliLlah, doanya makbul selepas 23 tahun kelahiran anak sulungnya daripada 8 adik-beradik. AlhamduliLlah, Al-Quran 30 juzuk terpelihara kemas di dalam hatinya. Beliau menghabiskan masa 3 tahun utk habis menghafal 30 juzuk KalamuLlah ketika di negeri kelahirannya. Beliau hafal sendiri utk memenuhi harapan ibu ayah beliau yang mengharapkan ada di kalangan anak mereka menjadi seorang hafiz atau hafizah. Sebagai anak sulung, beliau mengambil tanggungjawab ini utk menjadi contoh kpd adik-adik, SubhanaLlah. Setiap hari beliau hafal 2 mukasurat Al-Quran dan tasmi dgn ustaz di sebelah rumahnya di sana . Sekarang beliau pelajar tahun 4 jurusan Undang-Undang Syariah di universiti ana InsyaAllah.

Akak ni memang di uji dengan sakit yg tak tau apa punca sejak lebih setahun yg lalu. Sakitnya rasa seperti di tikam-tikam dengan pisau di bahagian belakang tubuhnya, tambahan pula kaki yang sudah sakit d bahagian lutut sejak 8 tahun lalu yg x pernah sembuh. Pernah satu ketika, selepas makan, beliau muntah bersama segumpal rambut dari kerongkongnya. Penderitaannya hanya Allah dan dia sendiri yang tau. Dh lama dia tak daya ke kelas sebab sakitnya membuatkan dia tak dapat berdiri atau berjalan. Hilang selera makannya hingga susut badannya hampir 13 kg. Beliau hanya menggagahkan diri untuk pergi berwudhu 2 hingga 3 kali sehari. Wudhu itu di jaga sebaik mungkin untuk ibadah sepanjang hari.

Hari-hari yang di laluinya beliau penuhi dgn membaca Al-Quran dan qiamullail sebagai pendinding daripada gangguan yg terus-terusan menyakitinya. Diceritakan makhluk-makhluk tu akan mengganggunya terutama waktu sebelum subuh, waktu zuhur dan waktu maghrib. Beliau dah banyak berubat di merata tempat, di negeri kelahirannya, berjumpa doktor-doktor pakar, dengan ulama yg faqih dalam ilmu perubatan islam sendiri dan akhir sekali dengan sorang lecturer di sini tapi beliau hanya mampu bertahan. Ustaz pesan, setiap kali beliau sakit, banyakkan baca Surah Al-Baqarah.

Pagi khamis tu, beliau berniat utk hadir kuliyah sebab dah lama tak mampu ke kelas. Beliau bangun kira-kira jam 4.30 pagi utk solat. Berbekalkan sedikit kekuatan yg di gagahkan, beliau ke bilik air utk berwudhu dgn memapah dinding dan apa yg mampu membantu beliau berdiri. Habis berwudhu, beliau jatuh tersungkur, rasa seperti ada yg menolak keras dari belakang. Masa tu beliau dh tak mampu berdiri, justeru beliau merangkak ke bilik. Sampai saja d bilik, beliau ketuk pintu dan rebah di bahagian depan bilik. Waktu tu, di sebabkan sakit yg mungkin dah tak tertanggung, dengan spontan beliau niatkan, Ya Allah, kiranya mati itu baik untukku, aku redha, tapi kiranya Engkau ingin aku terus hidup, aku ingin dengar kata-kata semangat drpd RasuluLlah SallaLlahualaihiwas allam sendiri.

Kemudian beliau pengsan. Sahabat-sahabat sebilik mengangkat beliau ke dalam bilik dan di baringkan di sana . Waktu tu, sahabat-sahabat dah forward message pd kawan-kawan yg lain agar bacakan surah Yasin sbb beliau dah nampak nazak. Semua dah sedia dgn nombor-nombor ahli keluarga beliau utk di hubungi kiranya apa-apa berlaku dengan izin Allah. Kira-kira jam 11 pagi, beliau tidur dgn tenang dalam waktu qoilulah, dalam tidur beliau, beliau sedang terbaring dalam keadaan memakai telekung dgn tangannya di qiam seperti dalam solat di tempat asing yang sangat cantik. Beliau terbaring di sebelah mimbar dan kelihatan banyak tiang di sekitarnya.

Tiba-tiba datang seorang HambaAllah dgn wajah yang bercahaya dari arah depan dan berdiri hampir sekali, kira-kira 2 meter dari beliau. Wajahnya SubhanaLlah, indah sekali, tak dapat nak di gambarkan. Beliau tertanya-tanya, siapa orang ni, cantik sekali kejadiannya dan hati beliau rasa sangat tenang dgn hanya melihat wajahnya. Di rasakan seluruh kesengsaraan yg di tanggung selama ini lenyap begitu saja. Kemudian, HambaAllah itu mengatakan Assalamualaikum, Ana RasuluLlah. SubhanaLlah, baginda Nabi rupanya. Nabi memakai jubah putih dan kain serban Nabi berwarna hijau di atas bahu baginda. Beliau nampak dgn jelas mata Baginda Nabi, janggut Baginda, rambut Baginda, kain serban di atas bahu Baginda dan tubuh Baginda. Kemudian Nabi katakan Enti fil masjidi, -sekarang enti(kamu) berada di masjidku, Masjid Nabawi-. Allahuakbar.

Kemudian Baginda Nabi SallaLahualaihiwasa llam berkata: QalAllahutaala; InnaAllahamaassobir in, -Sesungguhnya Allah bersama orang-orang yg sabar. Ketika mendengar suara Nabi mengalunkan KalamuLlah, terasa bergema suara merdu Nabi di seluruh alam. SememangNya Baginda sebaik-baik kejadian dan di ciptakan dgn penuh kesempurnaan. Nabi katakan (in lughatul 'arabiyah, tp kami terjemahkan) , Ya Syamimi, dengan berkat kesabaran enti, dgn sakit yg enti tanggung selama ini, dan dgn berkat Al-Quran yg enti pelihara di dlm hati enti, maka Allah bukakan hijab utk enti nampak ana. Ketika Nabi sebut Ya Syamimi, terlintas di hatinya Ya Allah, Baginda kenal ummat Baginda. Ya RasuluLlah.. . Waktu tu, di rasakan baiknya Allah, memberikan nikmat yg begitu besar buat dirinya.

Kemudian Nabi katakan, Sampaikan salamku buat sahabat-sahabat seperjuangan Islam, insyaAllah, kita semua akan berjumpa nanti. Lepas tu Nabi kita lafazkan, Ummati.., ummati.., ummati..., dan beliau nampak Nabi menangis dan beberapa titisan airmata Nabi yg suci mengalir utk ummat Baginda. Kemudian Baginda Nabi pergi. Beliau merintih, Jgn pergi Ya RasuluLlah, tp Baginda tetap pergi. Subhanallah, walaupun kita tak pernah bersua dgn Nabi kita yg mulia, Baginda kenal kita dan sentiasa ingat akan ummat Baginda. Beliau katakan tak pasti, apakah baginda menangis kerana rindu kepada ummat baginda, atau mungkin saja baginda sedih dgn ummat akhir zaman ini atau...xtaulah, waLlahualam. ..

Sedar daripada tidur yg amat indah pengisiannya, beliau d kelilingi oleh kawan-kawan yg terdengar rintihan beliau dalam tidurnya Jgn pergi Ya RasuluLlah.. .. kemudian beliau pun menceritakan kpd para sahabat tentang mimpinya sekaligus menyampaikan salam RasuluLlah buat ummat Baginda, salam dari Nabi sallaLahualaihiwasa llam. Semua menangis lantaran rindu pada Nabi. Rasa malu pada Nabi krn kita jarang-jarang ingat pada Baginda sedang kita amat terhutang budi pada baginda Nabi. Lebih-lebih lagi kita sedar bahawa syafaat Baginda yg akan kita kejar di akhirat kelak. Ya Allah, waktu tu, takde kata yg lebih tinggi drpd kalimah AlhamduliLlah utk di rafakan pada Allah atas nimat yg begitu besar yg Allah berikan pada dirinya. Rasa tak layak dirinya menerima anugerah dgn ujian yg hanya sedikit berbanding insan-insan yg lebih berat di uji oleh Allah. Kiranya ada kalimah pujian yg lebih tinggi dr Hamdalah, pasti akan beliau sebutkan buat Allah Yang Maha Kaya. Semuanya terangkum dalam Rahmat-Nya yg melimpah ruah. Ketika itu rasa sakit masih menular d tubuhnya Cuma kali ini dia bertekad tidak akan menangis lagi utk kesakitan ini.

Kemudian usai solat Zuhur, rasa sakit yg beliau tanggung makin hebat. Tak pernah beliau merasakan sakit yg sebegitu rupa. Terasa panas seluruh badan dan seluruh tubuhnya rasa di tikam pada setiap penjuru tubuhnya. Kalau dulu, beliau akan menangis dalam menghadapi kesakitan, pada waktu itu beliau pujuk diri utk tidak menangis. Apa sangatlah sakit yg aku tanggung ni berbanding nikmat yg Allah dah bagi utk melihat Baginda Nabi SallaLlahualaihiwas allam.

Kemudian beliau tidur dan terus beliau rasakan berada d tempat tinggi, tempat yg biasa hadir sepanjang beliau menerima gangguan. Beliau katakana Ya Allah, apa lagi yg nk Engkau bagi buat hambamu yg hina ni, rasa malu sangat dgn-Mu Ya Allah.... kemudian dgn izin Allah, datang empat orang yg berpakaian serba hijau. Salah seorang daripadanya mengatakan, Assalamualaikum Ya Syamimi, RasuluLlah SallaLahualaihiwasa llam sampaikan salam buatmu. Kami utusan RasuluLlah SAW. Nahnu khulafa ar-rasyidin. Ana Abu Bakr, ini Ummar Al-Khattab, Uthman bin affan dan Ali. SubhanaLlah, Saidina Abu Bakr memperkenal dirinya dan ketiga-tiga sahabatnya yg mulia. Beliau nampak, Saidina Abu Bakr, amat lembut perwatakannya, Saidina Ummar dgn wajah ketegasan, Saidina Uthman memang cantik sekali dan Saidina Ali yg agak kecil orangnya.

Para Sahabat mengatakan Kami di utuskan oleh baginda Nabi utk membantu enti.. kemudian keempat-empat sahabat nabi membacakan ayat 102 drpd surah Al-Baqarah yg bermaksud: Dan mereka mengikuti apa yg di baca oleh syaitan-syaitan pada masa kerajaan Sulaiman. Sulaiman itu tidak kafir tetapi syaitan-syaitan itulah yg kafir, mereka mengajarkan sihir pada manusia dan apa yg diturunkan pada 2 malaikat di negeri Babylon iaitu Harut dan Marut. Padahal keduanya tidak mengajarkan sesuatu kepada seseorang sebelum mengatakan sesungguhnya kami hanyalah cubaan (bagimu) sebab itu janganlah kafir. Maka mereka menpelajari dari keduanya (malaikat itu) apa yang (dapat) memisahkan antara seorang (suami) denagn isterinya. Mereka tidak akan dapat mencelakakan seseorang dgn sihirnya kecuali dengan izin Allah. Mereka mempelajari sesuatu yang mencelakakan, dan tidak memberi manfaat kepada mereka. Dan sungguh, mereka sudah tahu, barang siapa membeli (menggunakan sihir) itu, nescaya tidak akan mendapat keuntungan di akhirat. Dan sungguh, sangatlah buruk perbuatan mereka yang menjual dirinya dgn sihir, sekiranya mereka tahu.

Selesai membaca ayat itu, para sahabat Nabi menghembus pada makhluk-makhluk yang sedang mengganggu beliau dan mereka semua hancur terbakar. SubhanaLlah, waktu itu terasa seolah-olah tubuhnya yg sakit dahulu di tukarkan Allah dgn tubuh yg baru. Hilang segala kesakitang yg dah lebih setahun di tanggung beliau dgn sabar. Kemudian Saidina Abu Bakr mengatakan, Inilah ganjaran besar dari Allah buat orang-orang yang sabar. Kemudian, para sahabat Nabi yg mulia pun pergi.

Selesai mimpi indah yg kedua ini, beliau bangun dr tidur dan terus bangun duduk. Kawan-kawan sebilik pelik, kenapa beliau dapat bangun utk duduk dgn mudah. Kemudian sahabat-sahabat sebilik menyuruh beliau bangun berdiri dan AlhamduliLlah dgn mudah beliau bangun berdiri dan berjalan d sekitar bilik. Ya Allah, penyakit ana dah sembuh. Semua sahabat yang ada di situ bergembira dan menangis. Kemudian beliau segera ke bilik air untuk berwudhu. Dengan tubuh yang baru, beliau sujud syukur pada Allah Subhanahuataala. Ya Allah, kiranya di beri tempoh sujud 100 tahun pun belum dapat menjadi hamba-mu yg bersyukur atas nimat yang Engkau berikan.

Beliau katakan pada kami, Adik-adik, wajarlah para sahabat Nabi yang mulia sanggup mati demi mempertahankan Nabi. Akak yang di beri rezeki melihat Nabi tak sampai pun 5 minit dah rasa tak sanggup berpisah dengan Nabi. Kalau boleh, nak duduk je di bilik untuk beribadah pada Allah dan mengenang wajah Nabi yg mulia. Tp menyedari banyak lagi taklifan dan tanggungjawab kita di atas muka bumi Allah ni, maka hidup mesti di teruskan. Sekarang ni hati akak tenang sangat. Kalau boleh, nak je akak pinjamkan hati ni walau hanya sesaat agar adik-adik dapat merasakan betapa beningnya hati ini. Tapi itu tak mungkin kan , mungkin ini bahagian akak, bahagian kalian? Hanya Pemiliknya Yg Maha Tahu. Akhir sekali akak ingin katakan; tak rugi kita bersabar...

~~I couldnt care less for the authenticity of the story. Hope whoever reads this would feel how i felt the first time it came to my reading. The intensity of his love for his ummat, the closeness of this filthy soul of mine to him whom i miss so dearly, which i can be sure is way backward in proving love to him, than those close companions, tabi', tabi' tabi'en, those ulamas, and the list goes on. I LOVE ALLAH, I LOVE RASULULLAH~~

2007-01-23T13:56:00.000+11:00

schade...

2007-01-11T15:21:00.000+11:00

JALAN JALAN CARI SYURGA

2006-12-30T21:47:00.000+11:00

Kakak Rabbit has been back in the metropolitan city of Melbourne for more or less two weeks now. Everything does not seem to be the same anymore now. We experienced drought (though not so much affected by it- bersuka ria bermain air pada bila2 masa sahaja)in Alexandra-Yarck-Koala (pilih mane satu) Basecamp. And the city, despite the cold weather has lost most of its sources of hujan, for these dry, waiting and hoping (oh can't you see my watery hoping eyes) souls of ours. It wont be the same anymore. And we're losing it one by one. Kakak Rabbit is dreading the coming March. Innalaha ma'ana. How many times should Kakak Rabbit be reminded of this words of Allah?

Biggest apology for this site is a rubbish that's only being updated once in 3 years or something like that. It's not meant to be a source of entertainment for you (yes, you) who dont have anything better to do but stuck to the computer screen, browsing each and every site that you come across to. It's meant to be updated when the Kakak Rabbit has nothing better to do but to update it (haha-tak lawak), nope seriously when the Kakak Rabbit HAS THE TIME TO, or when she has something to write about, or when she feels like writing when there's actually nothing to babble about. Hopefully the latter doesnt happen for that is nothing but lagha (tau takpe).

Kakak Rabbit can go the whole length of an essay if she was to write about Koala. O Allah, what an experience it was. She truly thanks You for it for she never dreamt of such opportunity. Really, it was none but the biggest tarbiyah for the Kakak Rabbit herself. Kakak Rabbit wouldnt measure the succes of it by evaluating the recruits (no, that's not the way), rather, by muhasabah-ing herself. How difficult it is to mantain the iman (at reasonable level, at least) most of the time. How difficult it is to remain calm, composed and patient most of the time (thus, ending up with the nickname KakGG). How difficult it is to walk the talk (o Allah i seek refuge from your wrath). How difficult it is to give, when you feel like the most succesful hypocrite alive. How difficult it is to physically prostrate and to haul the heart to postrate together in solemnity. How difficult it is to menghayati every word during the prayer while putting all the effort to shoo away all the whispers of the shaytan in every salat. How difficult it is to maintain the pure niyah. How difficult it is to implement what is recited from the Quran. How difficult it is to truly implement Laa Ilah Illallah.How difficult is this path o Allah.

It was just as difficult to deal with only the kuffar at the workplace, whilst holding fast to the principle and conveying the syahadatul haq all at the same time. Many things happen. Some are Kakak Rabbit's personal experience, some shared with the other honourable strong girls.

i) Kakak Rabbit asked for permission to get a break for salat the first thing in the first working morning. They agreed. It didnt go on that smoothly after that when we were asked to limit to 15mins PER WEEK or not more than 5mins a day for every break. The breaks were unpaid, for God's sake. Cant they let us pray dengan tenang for at least once.

ii) Peristiwa dijerit2 during our gathering outside the caravan were our daily (oops, didnt really happen everyday lah tapinye) entertainment. We smiled to each other everytime it happened. Amazing how we were never offended by such verbal insults. They never affect us, okay. Stop doing it, save your saliva for your teeth integrity!(not mine)

iii) Muslims were aliens to those alexandra people. There was once when Kakak Rabbit waited for 'mawar' at the bench just outside Foodworks Convenience Store. One makcik came out and exclaimed in slightly shocked voice, "omg, there are two of you.i just saw one in the store, and then i came out and saw one seating here. i said to myself, it cant be the same person. there are TWO of you!" The makcik wasnt being rude or anything. Muslims were aliens, i told you. "there are actually 10 of us here" Kakak Rabbit told her. Her eyes nearly poped out (10 aliens at one time is too much is it?). Kakak Rabbit and the makcik went on with the conversation about the hijab and things when "dont you feel hot" question arised. The usual question. Never feel tired answering. Always have a new way to answer. ^_^. After a few minutes, another makcik came out and told Kakak Rabbit, "your friend is on her way out. wouldnt take long". Kakak rabbit thanked her for the info. Smiley.

iv) Kakak Rabbit was pushing the trolley in one of the alleys in Foodworks (kerjamakan), eyes busy browsing the food shelves. Then her eyes fell on to a young boy in front of her. He obviusly has been usha-ing her for some time until she realised it. His expression was something in between terror-horrified-trying to smile when the weirdo, head-to-toe-covered girl looked at him. Poor boy. The weird looking lady didnt carry bomb in her scarf. She does normal stuff just like you do, like going shopping in Foodworks, see?

v) This one is the weirdest of all. One Thai makcik tegur Kakak Rabbit at workplace one day. "do you have hair?". Kakak Rabbit went "sorry? (betulke ape yang aku dengar ni)". "do you have hair?". "of course i do!". The Thai makcik went on with the usual questions about the hijab, and Kakak Rabbit was just happy to answer any question, until (distorted tune please) the makcik told Kakak Rabbit how she once used to be a Muslim. Now that was disheartening. She told Kakak Rabbit how she used to be married to a muslim man, but she only became muslim (wear hijab, eat halal food etc) when she were in his family's house. (at this point Kakak Rabbit was already red in face with emotion and kepala has started to berdengung-dengung already). She told Kakak Rabbit how she wanted to be free,and how she saw us being hijabed and going to pray everyday; as not leading a free life. Kakak Rabbit wanted to bring the conversation to be something for her to think about, but she didnt seem to get it. So Kakak Rabbit just slowed down the pace, answering briefly when an answer was needed. When she said that we dont need to have a religion, rather doing good things and not doing bad things are enough, Kakak Rabbit asked, "so what determines what's good and what's bad then? (dalam hati sudah geram tahap golek2 juga)". The makcik paused and said, feebly, "i dont know, i dont know". There you go

vi) There was this cambodian boss of the cambodian workers, who were flirting with any girl who stood near him. He never dared to tegur Kakak Rabbit however, hehe. Anyways, one day he was flirting with one of Kakak Rabbit's honourable girlfriends, picking cherries from her line, smiling and looking into her face. YUKKIE!! Kakak Rabbit, standing not far from tempat kejadian sudah nampak apa yang berlaku. The girl, being soft, shy and sheepish didnt do anything, though it was obvious that she was really bengang with the guy. Kakak rabbit went "what are you trying to do?". "I pick the bad cherries when i see them (even if it was in the girl's line)" said the pakcik sambil tersenyum2. Kakak Rabbit said "just look at whatever that's in front of you" geram betol. He went serious when he saw Kakak Rabbit's stern, not smiling face. "nothing to do with you" he said. "nothing to do with you either" Kakak Rabbit said. Malas nak panjang2kan. Bukan nak cari gaduh. Nahi mungkar saja. Jangan kacau orang yang pentingnya.

Now that's just a little part of what's happened. Kakak Rabbit's stay in Oz has nearly been 2 years now. Time flies doesnt it. Lots, i mean LOTS of things has changed. Looking at Kakak Rabbit 2 years before, just before she flew over here, she was a different person to the Kakak Rabbit now, after 2 years of life in Oz. Let's pray that she's changed for better, biiznillah. Let's pray that the changes are kaaffah, and let's pray for Allah to make her istiqamah in her new path, biiznillah. Yes, and the world around her changes as fast as well. This person walked out, new person walked in her life. This person who used to be a struggling student, just like Kakak Rabbit was, is now back in Malaysia, going to start working, as a professional inshaAllah (and Kakak Rabbit is still the same struggling student, has 3 more years to go to finish this course inshaAllah). Some people have gotten married, some people even had babies, some people are getting engaged (Kakak Rabbit is still the same single Kakak Rabbit, dont worry ^_^). Some people have changed as a person, grew up, grew mature, and talking to these people wouldnt be the same as before. Amazing how people climb up the stages of life. Wonder at what stage of life Kakak Rabbit is now? Near death? Perhaps. Allahua'lam bissawab

2006-11-22T15:54:00.000+11:00

Ya Allah Ya Rabbi, teguhkan iman kami. MOGA TABAH HATI TAK BERBELAH BAGI =). Sayang akhawat fillah.

2006-11-17T13:41:00.000+11:00

ditulis dengan kasih dan sayang, utk si dia yang dekat di hati.this is my bm project

assalamualaikum wbt

hows study going? strive hard, pray hard. ingatlah rewards Allah itu letaknya pada ketinggian mujahadah kita untuk strive. kdg2 org yg dh sedia terror (terrorist??) x perlu usaha banyak utk score, tp org yg x pandai sgt ni die kena mujahadahhhh sgt2. tp sbenarnya, kalo kita tahu, Allah x tgk result sesuatu prkr tu, tp Allah tgk usaha kita dlm mencapai result itu. kat situlah penilaian yg sebenar2nya.

nk share satu ayat quran bes yg ter come across smlm. al kahfi (18: 103-105). Allah berfirman, (ni simplified version) "nak tahukah siapa org yg plg rugi perbuatannya? iaitu org yg sia2 perbuatannya dlm dunia, sedangkan mrk mengira tlh berbuat sebaik2nya.demikianlah neraka jahannam sbg balasan mrk"

huhu. it strikes me. kdg2 kita rasa mcm hidup kita dh lengkap semuanya. kita belajar di tmpt yg bagus, hidup alhamdulillah senang, ada jpa nk sponsor lg tu, masa depan inshaAllah nmpk menarik with good career prospect, kita skarang mgkn solat cukup lima waktu, buat yg wajib dan segala2nya. macam dh cukup. mcm dh buat sebaik2nya.macam dah xde sebab utk Allah murka kt kita. tapi kdg2 kita x sedar pon, dlm perbuatan kita byk je yg melampaui batas, banyak sgt yg x ikot alquran (sbb kita tak pernah fahami alquran dan apa yg Allah nk kita jd sprti yg diceritakn dlm tu)

kita lupa syurga Allah tu mahal! ingat senang2 Allah nk bg kita masuk syurga. tgk apa yg sahabat2 dulu dah buat smpi Allah menjanjikan mereka syurga. drg mati bjihad di jln Allah! drg pertahankan islam dan rasulullah smpi diri sendiri terkorban. drg hidup susah semata2 krn Allah. org ansar bagi separuh dpd hidup mrk utk muhajirin. bayangkan harta kita, hp kita,digicam kita (6mpx huhu) laptop kita, separuhnya kita bg kt org mcm tu sahaja. smpi isteri pon diceraikn utk bg kt muhajirin. pengorbanan yg ulung dlm sejarah. zmn skarang ni, nmpk impossible utk berlaku.

kita? apa yg kita dh buat? apa sumbangan kita kt jln Allah? apa yg kita sanggup hilang krn Allah? nikmat hidup melimpah ruah lg. yet, kita boleh rasa selesa. nauzubillah. boleh ke kita jamin nnt akn masuk syurga? (yaALLah, masukkanlah kami ke syurgaMu atas rahmat dan kasih sygMU, jika dihitung amal kami, nescaya kami tak layak menghidu pun syurgaMu ya Rahman, ya Rahim).

Allah suruh kita masuk islam secara keseluruhan (al baqarah 2:208), bukan jd part time muslim. every breath, every muscle twitch, mesti hadir islam padanya. kita nk dengar lagu, fikir dulu Allah redha x kita dgr lagu mcm tu, kita nk keluar outing (gi kedai komik lao mao kt banting =p) kita fikir dulu, Allah redha x kaki aku nk melangkah ni, kita nk bwat irp dgn sisters, fikir dulu betulke niat aku nk study atau saja2 nk mengayat ending up pelajaran x berkat, nauzubillah, kita nk tgk wayang, fikir dulu cerita ni Allah redha x, ada sumbangan kpd islam x kalo aku tengok. baaanyak sgt sbnarnya yg kita dh overlooked. nauzubillah,mga Allah ampunkn dosa2 kita atas kejahilan kita yg lalu.

huhu dah banyak beletiaq ni. tp ini pun tgjwb juga. apa yg a*** tahu psl islam, kalo boleh nk semuaa org lain tahu jugak. mcamana a*** dh rasa bhgianya bertemu islam, dan mndapat kasih syg Allah, kalo bole nk semua pon rasa jugak. ketahuilah,manisnya islam itu kalo kita mngenalinya dgn betul dan syumul, dan manisnya rasa dlm setiap langkah hidup kita inshaAllah hanya mengharap redha Allah semata2. and yes, tenangnya hidup dlm islam. ketahuilah, dgn mengingati ALlah jiwa mnjadi tenang (ar ra'd:28)

ive got 2 more pprs to go. hard ones. pray for me. pray for us. assalamualaikum

love u fillah
kakak

2006-11-07T11:08:00.000+11:00

When you feel all alone in this world
And theres nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load
And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows
Allah knows

No matter what, inside or out
Theres one thing of which theres no doubt
Allah knows
Allah knows
And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth
Every star in this whole universe
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you find that special someone
Feel your whole life has barely begun
You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes
Catch a glimpse of paradise
And you see your child take the first breath of life
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart
See your whole world fall apart
And you try to go on but it seems so hard
Allah knows
Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows
Allah knows

Every grain of sand,
In every desert land, He knows.
Every shade of palm,
Every closed hand, He knows.
Every sparkling tear,
On every eyelash, He knows.
Every thought I have,
And every word I share, He knows.
Allah knows.

2006-11-06T18:07:00.000+11:00

Penuh sinar dan harapan =)
"Ya Allah bantulah aku, lancarkanlah lidahku, permudahkanlah urusanku, baikilah kelemahanku, wahai Tuhan yang Maha Pengasih. Lembutkanlah hati mereka, dekatkanlah hati2 itu kepada fitrahnya, teguhkanlah langkah mereka dalam jalanMu wahai Tuhan yang Maha Penyayang."
Tiada imbalan dari manusia yang kami harapkan dari urusan ini melainkan untuk membawa manusia kembali kepada Rabbnya.

~iskk rindu budak2 ini~

2006-10-29T15:03:00.000+11:00

Kerna kau mengaku daie
Perasaan? Lempar jauh ke hujung galaksi !!!
Nafsu? Henyak-henyak ke perut bumi !!!
Kerna perlunya kental di hati
Tutup mata, bukannya hati
Tutup, tutup, jangan pernah ambil peduli!!!!
Sampai waktu, raih hasil kurnia Ilahi
Kau bukan milikmu lagi
Biar terseksa di sini
Sampai bila mungkin tak pasti
Oh! jangan jadi asbab membatunya qalbi

Hati gundah mungkinkah jauh dariNya
Mengapa susah sangat mencanai redha
Menggeletar jemari sesaknya di dada
Tuhan, satu saja pinta

2006-10-26T18:44:00.000+10:00

Hanya Dia
Selamanya
Tiada lagi pada manusia